I wanted to see if they could tell me something important about God before I go to meet the Creator, if the Creator does in fact exist. And I made two interesting observations:

1. The apparent communal atmosphere of the church, whether perceived or real. I'm inclined to think that unlike other churches, the attendees of this one were hardly as close-knit as other congregations -- this being a church on a military base and the members being diverse enough in age to lead me to suspect that they're not Bingo buddies -- and yet many of them felt comfortable sharing their difficulties and joys during the part of the service in which persons ask for the prayers of the congregation or submit their own success stories as evidence of the greatness of the Lord. Today, for example, one woman praised God for allowing her husband to return safely to her from Iraq (which struck me as being odd, since he's apparently been back for a year -- does she say the same thing every Sunday?), a child praised God for granting her visiting grandmother safe passage (cute), a man asked the congregation to pray for his ailing wife (definitely understandable), and a family lamented their car troubles and praised God because apparently the latest difficulty is covered by warranty and will therefore be fixed without incurring any additional costs. What? That last one had me scratching my head -- while I can understand the family being glad about that, if it had been me, I'm not sure I would've submitted it after the preceding testimonies and requests, as it seems kinda trivial in comparison. But perhaps the congregation truly wasn't judging or comparing the individual statements, or at least the speakers didn't expect them to. Interesting. (more...)

Why does God hate me?
Maybe I will find out soon!
When I hang myself.

So here's a brief commentary I wrote last week concerning the tribute to Rosa Parks. I sent it to NPR, but somehow I doubt they'd print/air it!

Last Monday, Rosa Parks was honored for her legendary role in the Civil Rights Movement with a memorial service at the Metropolitan African Methodist Episcopal Church and a slew of news segments lauding Parks' seated stand while managing to say surprisingly little about the rest of her 92 year life. And I don't know how others felt as they watched these fawning bits, but the excessively sycophantic nature of these segments and overuse of the same key phrases rang so false to my ears that I was only "moved" to change the channel in disgust. I don't mean to underemphasize Parks' involvement or dedication to the movement, mind you, but a lot of other factors contributed to its success. Not only do I very much doubt that Parks the first person to be arrested for refusing to give up her seat, but her act would hardly have been so effective if Martin Luther King, Jr., hadn't called for the Montgomery Bus Boycott, nor would his merely calling for the boycott have made any waves whatsoever if not for the compliance of the manifold participants. Listening to the tributes to Parks, however, one would think that she single-handedly brought about the end of segregation and ushered America into a new age in which skin color is a moot point and everyone is treated as an individual -- an age which, by the way, is so far from our present that (if the present glorification of racial stereotypes and social ostracism facing persons who don't adhere to them serve as any indication), most people appear to have given up on it.

I also thought it was pretty ghoulish that people were traveling from all over to visit a corpse in the Capital on Halloween (to say nothing of hearing the terrible demon Oprah Winfrey speak), but maybe that's just me.

Today, I got a fortune cookie with a message that read:

YOUR LOVE LIFE WILL BE HAPPY AND HARMONIOUS.

I laughed for like the next four minutes. Then I sighed and continued on with my miserable existence.

Also, I was watching "Celebrity Poker Showdown" earlier and have come to the conclusion that Lacey Chabert is just adorable.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #56 is up on Scary-Crayon. I think this is one of the best ones yet, but then I had amazing material to work with. You'll see. Spam is insane, dudes.