Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
November 5, 2005
Cartoon observations and reviews.
Category: Serious

Has anyone else noticed that child characters in American cartoons often exhibit a maturity far beyond their fictional years? I was just watching Juniper Lee, whom I'd always assumed (based on her interests, friends, attitude, etc.) was somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 or 16 years old, when she commented that she's 11. What? You've got characters like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who are supposed to be teenagers, yet they've not only managed to master a centuries old martial art and lifestyle with extremely limited resources and training, but then you've got Donatello routinely constructing inventions far beyond anything modern science can produce -- and with no formal education or funding whatsoever. The same goes for the Teen Titans (though I think the Titans are funded by Cyborg's wealthy father, and Robin could probably secure additional finances from Batman if necessary) and other kid superhero groups, almost all of which are self-sufficient despite the members' young ages. And sure, the Turtles have Splinter watching over them in a fatherly capacity, but considering that the average lifespan for rats is 2-3 years, with the maximum recorded rat lifespan being 7 years and 4 months, how much older than the Turtles can he really be? (To say nothing of the astonishing notion that he somehow mastered ninjitsu in such a short length of time! Of course, this particular difficulty is absent if we consider the origin story in which Splinter and Hamato Yoshi are one and the same.) And then there are infants like Stewie Griffin ("Family Guy") and Baby Herman (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?), though their exaggerated maturity is employed for comic effect.

Younger characters in anime, on the other hand, more often than not seem an accurate reflection of their ages -- though this may be a function of certain cultural differences, as the humor and artistic style of many animes (the vast majority of which, in my experience, have focused on the adventures of younger characters) seems, to American sensibilities, more illustrative of juvenile attitudes.

If there were graduate programs offering degrees in cartoon scholarship, I'd totally be down.

Oh, and speaking of cartoons, here are my early reviews of the premiere episodes of "The Boondocks" and "MinoriTEAM"... (more...)

-posted by Wes | 1:33 pm | Comments (1)
November 4, 2005
So it just dawned on me...
Category: Miscellany

...that Kim Possible's legs are thicker than her waist. Even the calves. I'm not sure whether to find that sexy or not. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be for real women, since no woman's waist could ever be that tiny. That would be (K)impossible! Not to mention unhealthy.

And how the hell does Drakken keep losing? I'd just snap her ass in half and be done with it. Oops, I broke your spine! 'Cause there's nothing but skin surrounding it at your midsection.

Also, Shego is totally hot. Way hotter than KP. I <3 Shego.

-posted by Wes | 7:13 pm | Comments (2)
I just got 55 spam e-mails...
Category: Miscellany

...in the last hour. Insane.

-posted by Wes | 12:29 pm | Comments (0)
Scary-Crayon updates and excerpts
Category: SC Updates

From the Scary-Crayon blog, with reference to Crayon Song Parody #2:

Side note: The most gorgeous girl I've ever met happened to be named April, so I sort of imagined myself singing the song to her. Granted, she was way too beautiful and perfect to ever think of me as being anything other than beneath her, so I'd never have had to sing a song like this to her, but in the event that she did deign to give me a chance I imagine we would've parted for similar reasons. My eyes used to glaze over and my mouth would turn into a squiggly line thingy whenever I ran into her on campus, though. She was absolutely stunning.

Come to think of it, I've never met an April who was anything less than remarkably attractive. I wonder if the name predisposed me to liking them, since I'd had a crush on Miss O'Neil since childhood? Aaaand this is getting far too personal, so we're done.

SC got a new Crayon Haiku yesterday as well. Ja.

-posted by Wes | 1:26 am | Comments (0)
October 31, 2005
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
Category: Art … SC Updates

Mmm, bloody teeth.

What the title says. Also, head over to SC for The Five SCARIEST 39¢ Halloween Cards! It's even got a special Scary-Crayon card at the end. Anyway, y'all have fun -- and don't eat too much candy, y'hear?

-posted by Wes | 5:12 pm | Comments (1)