Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
July 7, 2008
Two odd commercials I just saw

Lots of posts these past few days, eh?

So the first of the two commercials mentioned in the title was for some new kind of eyedrops. It was a testimonial advertisement featuring an eye doctor who, apparently as a sufferer of some common form of dry eyes, was thrilled to discover this new product because it can help users to "make more of their own tears." Now, I know what it means -- tears moisten eyes, so the product will ostensibly prevent sufferers from having to endure dry, itchy, red eyes -- but I found the phrasing odd. It can help you to produce more of your own tears. But given that we typically associate tears with pain and/or sadness, I found myself thinking that I could probably accomplish the same thing by beating the hell out of an individual and murdering his/her loved ones. And I giggled to myself.

Yes, my sense of humor is strange.

The second commercial was for Toaster Strudels, and its explicitly and repeated contention was that "Pop-Tarts can't compare to the taste of Toaster Strudels." (According to the Wiki, this is a pretty common line of argument for Toaster Strudels... though this is the first time I can remember seeing it. Weird.) This amused me as well, but for different reasons. First of all, this is a matter of personal preference -- and while you could say that with respect to almost anything, it's especially true here. Why? This is directly related to my second point: that comparing Pop-Tarts and Toaster Strudels is like comparing apples to oranges (in the sense that you legitimately can, as they're both kind of similar -- both breakfast pastries, both fruits -- yet also different). But an even better analogue is potato chips to french fries. Imagine an Ore-Ida commercial that boasted, "Potato chips can't compare to the taste of french fries!" Maybe not -- depending upon the person -- but since that's not their freaking goal, who cares?!

If you're into Pop-Tarts, no amount of argument is going to convince you that Pillsbury's wares are somehow better... unless, that is, Pillsbury releases a product that is directly comparable to Pop-Tarts. I mean, I like them both (though not enough to buy either on a regular basis) -- and while I would prefer Toaster Strudels in a head-to-head comparison, Pop-Tarts do have several advantages over Toaster Strudels. They don't need to be kept in the freezer, so you can take them almost anywhere. (I used to bring a packet to work with me for lunch, and I recall us having them with us on a high school camping trip. In fact, one of the sexier -- and definitely bustier -- girls on the trip noted that they were her favorite food, which at the very least ensured that I will associate Pop-Tarts with pleasant thoughts for as long as that memory endures. Every time I buy Pop-Tarts, Kellogg's should send her a commission fee.) Admittedly, most of their other advantages are related to this point -- their versatile nature means that you don't need a toaster to enjoy them, whereas even if you want to eat Toaster Strudels frozen (which you can do; they are quite good) you'll still have to find some way to unfreeze the frosting -- but still.

Instead of trying to raise their product above Kellogg's, Pillsbury needs to make ads featuring unfortunate cartoon Toaster Strudels that poorly-drawn children go out of their way to trap and devour. 😐

-posted by Wes | 4:02 pm | Comments (5)
I found a dead lizard in the basement!
Category: Miscellany

And not one of the several that I put there, either. This dead lizard was not housed in a small jar of alcohol (or not, in the one case where the alcohol has evaporated) -- it was lying on the floor in the room where I keep most of my action figures. If it climbed on them, its death is well deserved.

I do not think I will keep this dead lizard (I only keep dead animals that were my "pets" in life), but I have placed it in a ziploc bag and left it on the porch in order to see how my mother reacts. I doubt it will be highly entertaining.

(Do the repeated references to dead animals make anyone else think of the Wayside School books?)

UPDATE: I predicted correctly -- my mother was not in the least bit fazed by the dead lizard in the ziploc bag. In fact, she had already seen (and ignored) it in the basement! She didn't even realize this was the same one... for some reason she thought I had found it outside and brought it home. Why would I do that?!? I am not a cat.

-posted by Wes | 11:18 am | Comments (5)
July 6, 2008
What would Wes do? (#1)
Category: Toys

Suppose that you are me.

Now suppose that you are me and this doesn't cause you to immediately hurl yourself in front of a double-decker bus approaching at 80 mph.

Still with us? Good!

You walk into a Hot Topic store and, as you browse the action figures in the back, you find two figures that strike your fancy. More importantly, you remember that you have $4 left on a gift card -- and, given that you've had this card for at least two years, you think it might be a good idea to spend the rest of the money today. Which of the two options below most appeals to you? Or rather -- since you are me, owing to the premise -- which do you think would most appeal to me?

A) NECA Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Michelangelo -- $15.99

B) Marvel Select Zombie Hulk -- $4.99

There are no prizes for a correct answer, but perhaps it will allow you to feel secure in the knowledge that you have correctly deduced my actions in this particular situation. 😉

-posted by Wes | 7:03 pm | Comments (7)
July 5, 2008
What the bleeding crack was that?


"Journey's End"? Fucking awful. I barely got through the bloody episode. 👿

UPDATE: Since I expanded upon an even more concise forum post voicing my displeasure with the episode -- "That was fucking retarded." -- I'll go ahead and augment this entry with some of those thoughts as well. I've made an effort to avoid spoilers, so feel free to read on even if you haven't seen the episode yet! Well, the picture above is sort of a spoiler, but you knew the Daleks were coming back and you knew at least one of them was going to get blown up... so yeah.

I haven't been this disgusted with an episode of a show that I'm supposed to like since "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Season 7 -- even "Heroes" Season 2, as terrible as it was, didn't come close to the sheer awfulness on display here. But in addition to disgust and anger -- while watching this episode, I flipped my monitor the bird at least 14 times -- I also felt a certain sadness. Not because of anything that was happening onscreen, but because it fully hit me that whereas I've enjoyed episodes of the new "Doctor Who" in the past, and whereas I continue to enjoy the classic episodes even when they are obviously bad (hooray for fat-headed minotaurs with platform hooves!), this new show really is not intended for me at all.

Seriously, I might as well have been watching "House" or "Desperate Housewives" or "The Oprah Winfrey Show" or some other program that I can't bloody stand and should not be watching for sanity's sake. Whereas no show that I like has been without bad episodes, at least those still felt like subpar episodes of a show that I liked. With "Journey's End," I felt like I was watching a particularly abysmal episode of a show that I dislike to begin with -- it's like Davies somehow accessed my brain, downloaded everything that I find hateful about television shows, and packed as much of it as he could into this script. Are there no checks and balances in production? You'd think someone would have read this script and just. said. NO. This episode makes me want to completely give up on the Doctor.

"Journey's End" is like the licorice jellybean in my packet of Skittles -- because I do not like licorice and would be like "WHAT THE HELL?!?!?" if I found one. When they start sticking licorice jellybeans in Skittles packets, that's when I'll stop buying them.

</end rambling rant>

-posted by Wes | 10:58 pm | Comments (7)
what an unusual view
Category: Toys

Click here to see, since the front page is getting kind of image heavy!

-posted by Wes | 11:32 am | Comments (2)