Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
August 17, 2008
Not quite five by five
Category: Toys … Travels … TV, Film, & DVDs

Five by five?

So for the past couple of weeks or so, I've been on an extended Faith kick. I rewatched the Season 4 episodes of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" in which she appeared, her appearances in Seasons 1 and 4 of "Angel"... I even sat through those godawful "Buffy" Season 7 episodes for her. And now I'm in the process of watching Season 3 again (skipping the heathen -- that is Faithless -- episodes), though I think I'll take a break from them tonight to watch the "Buffy" Season 2 episodes with Kendra.

(With my renewed Faith and Buffy kick, I ordered a Buffy figure online... but they sent me Kendra by mistake. Of course I shipped her butt back and am awaiting the correct item, but the ordeal has left me with a desire to watch Kendra's few appearances again.)

...the lion and the fatling together...

Anyway, it's sort of fitting that I've been so into Faith lately, since yesterday I accompanied my mother on this church retreat to see the Sight & Sound Theaters production of "In the Beginning." Of course, I really only went because the trip also included a stop at a shopping center with KB Toys and Disney Store Outlet shops, but I did have some minimal interest in seeing the play. I'll write more about the day on Scary-Crayon -- or at least that's the plan; we'll see -- but suffice it to say that few words describe the play so well as flipping retarded. Picture, if you will, brachiosaurs in the Garden of Eden; velociraptors running around in the wilderness following the Fall; Adam and his progeny riding about on a woolly mammoth; horrific angels that looked like a cross between harpies and the robots of death; and, worst and most hilarious of all, a nine-foot-tall purple serpent with glowing red eyes. Adam and Eve's problem wasn't so much that they were disobedient, but rather that they were dumb. Anyone who trusts a giant purple snake with flaming eyes -- and jets of smoke erupting behind it -- deserves whatever the Hell happens as a result.

An okay haul.

Anyway, back to Faith. I didn't find quite as much as I'd hoped at the KB Toys Outlet, and all of the other stores were a total bust... but I did come across Faith figures! And given my current kick, it almost seemed too good to be true -- I was even planning to order a Faith figure this week -- if not eerily coincidental. I mean, while I've seen DC Direct and Mortal Kombat figures in KB before, I'd never seen Buffy figures in KB Toys until that moment. Granted, they looked kind of bad (I had to pick through them in earnest to find ones without completely screwed paint jobs), and Faith was the only character in stock, but still. I had a Faith figure! Even if it didn't look like her, I was rather pleased.

But I recognized that it seemed too good to be true, and the toys did look a little flimsy... so I got two just in case. And sure enough, as soon as I got home and took the first Faith out of the package, I noticed immediately that something was very, very wrong. Almost every single one of her joints was stuck fast. So right away she went into the freezer, and a good half hour later I removed her to try my luck again. And off came her leg, just like that -- given the way it came off, it looks like the attaching peg was cracked to begin with. I was disappointed, but I did still have the other Faith. She didn't even get the chance to go into the freezer, though, as removing her from the package resulted in her leaving her leg behind right from the outset.

So, yesterday, I lost an entire day on a trip to see a crappy uber-creationist religious play and had my Faith broken. Twice. 👿

Chun-Li has been healed by the power of HOPE!

On the bright side, I'm holding out hope that I can fix the Faiths (or at least one of them; I may just return the other). You may recall my experience with Chun-Li, who broke after I ordered her a while back and had to be replaced. Well, I still had the broken figure... and inspired by these Faith mishaps (what is it with left legs?!) to try my hand at fixing her, I sat down today and did just that. And, as you see, I was successful! Faith looks like she'll be a more difficult -- part of the reason the figure broke in the first place is poor design; while a metal screw will certainly be stronger than the brittle, toothpick-thin plastic peg with which the leg was originally attached, forcing the head of a screw into the tiny space between her legs (hm, this is sounding kinda dirty) will prove rather difficult -- but I'm confident that it can be done. I suppose if all else fails, I could try the Hasbro approach and peg the leg up into the torso. Faith's waist doesn't move, so there should be a lot of space up there for an anchor.

Also, shoofly pie? Terrible. If you ever find yourself in Lancaster County, do yourself a huge favor and pass on that dessert. 😐

-posted by Wes | 9:59 pm | Comments (7)
  • Mickelodeon says:

    And you got the Obama figure! =) Every time I come across references to Buffy, I realize the program was way more involved than I ever ever ever realized. I'm quite sure, though, given enough time, I'll find myself totally obsessed with it. But since that didn't happen with Doctor Who in the first thirty six years of my life, I'll be about seventy before I grok Buffy. =)

    That Faith, though...she's cute! But how sucky about the two figures... =(

  • Ro says:

    Argh, that's brutal. At least you have the know how to fix them. I would have just made leg jewelry or some kind of abstract art thing.

    Btw went to a really cool Asian book store called Kinokuniya over the weekend. They had LOTS of cool stuff you would have liked.

  • Becky says:

    So, Faith doesn't seem to be working out for you, huh? 😉

    I remember her from True Lies, though she was pretty young in that. Did you hear that she's going to be in a new show called Dollhouse?

  • Wes says:

    Mick: Well, the good thing about Buffy is that it only lasted for seven years -- only four and a half of which are really worth watching -- so it hardly requires the kind of commitment that Doctor Who entails!

    And yes, Obama is here. 😀

    Ro: Well, I'm not exactly sure how to fix it! I understood the principle behind Chun's break, so she was a fairly simple fix... but Faith appears to be completely different. I ended up drilling all the way through to the other side of her pelvis, thus detaching the second leg as well (not that that bothers me; it would probably have broken at some point or another anyway and now I can theoretically fix them both at the same time), and I still have no idea how they were anchored. I'm guessing they were held in place by some large disc inside the pelvis (which would explain why the one wouldn't turn; the pelvis halves are glued together pretty securely and a large disc would be pretty easily to accidentally glue in place as well), but duplicating that kind of arrangement is definitely above my skill level.

    Becky: I did! We'll see how it turns out, though... as much as I heart Faith and Eliza Dushku, most of the films and shows she's in are just flat-out awful. "Tru Calling" was one of the worst shows I've ever watched.

  • De says:

    Flipping retarded? That Book of Genesis play sounds so goofy, I might have to go see it.

  • Wes says:

    I dunno, De -- unless you went with a group of like-minded people and were sufficiently liquored up beforehand, I think you'd find it to be utterly unbearable. I was about to suggest that the Bug might find it to be entertaining, but really that play would probably be very confusing for all but the most brainwashed of Good Christian Children.

  • the Jax says:

    Sounds like a goofy bumper sticker idea: "My T-Rex ate your Messiah".

    I liked Eliza in Girl Next Door--it looked like a complete waste of time, but turned out to be a good movie.

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