(Spoiler warning. There be spoilers below.)
Comments on Jurassic World Dominion. (There may be more later; I could and just might go on and on and on about this spectacular piece of Pitch Meeting fodder. Bloody hell.) So you know why I rushed out to see this movie, right? I love dinosaurs, and I especially love seeing them fucking people up. The last movie -- Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom -- ended with dinosaurs being let loose on Earth. It ended with a montage of dinosaurs just showing up in cities and at picnics and in the ocean and just fucking people up. I had *hoped* that the third movie would deliver even more in that vein -- I didn't expect I'd get it, but I had my fingers crossed for Dinosaurs Attack! the movie. No plot necessary: just a series of vignettes featuring normal people doing normal things until normalcy dies along with them as they get royally fucked up by some rogue dinosaurs. Like America's Funniest Home Videos, but instead of punchlines involving dogs falling off tables or men getting hit in the nuts the setups end with dinosaurs fucking people up. DONE. MASTERPIECE.
The movie wasn't that. I knew it probably wasn't going to be that (though I HOPED it would be). But I did still expect a fair bit of dinosaurs fucking people up. Like, at least as much as we got in the first Jurassic World -- which I loved; that was a fine amount of dinosaurs fucking people up. More would have been ideal, but I didn't want less. We know how this goes. We've seen the things. They're here. The original Jurassic Park was fantastic, but there's no need to slow burn it now. Let them feast. (more...)