Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
July 22, 2005
New SC piece and a vicious rabbit
Category: Dreams … SC Updates

Heylo! I was up until like 4:30 AM last night working on the latest Scary-Crayon article -- a fairly lengthy tirade against the Harry Potter series. In addition to being kinda tired, I was pretty drunk when I wrote it, but I think I managed to make more than a few good and/or interesting points in there, so you might wanna give it a read. Just saying, since I think several of my readers are fans of the series -- so I'm particularly interested in hearing their responses. 😉

Anyway, I considered simply staying awake, but I figured I might as well try to sleep for an hour -- and in that hour I managed to have one fucked up dream. I dreamed that I woke up a little late for work (not a stretch, considering how tired I was) and was running down the hall to the shower when I noticed a fluffy white rabbit hopping alongside me! Not like a pet, either -- like a rabbit that just dashed out of a hole in the wall and started hopping along. He jumped really high, too -- as high as my shoulders. So when I reached the bathroom, he began leaping at me, prompting me to dodge left and right to avoid his attacks. But one leap was unavoidable -- he came directly at my face! -- and I threw up a hand to block... whereupon that little fucker bit into my hand and started viciously ripping at it. It didn't hurt -- which should've been the tipoff that this was a dream! -- but nonetheless blood was flying everywhere and I could hear my flesh being torn apart with sucking gush noises. At first I merely held my hand still in disbelief, but then I began shaking it wildly -- and eventually I managed to throw the rabbit off, whereupon he disappeared into the shadows. But then I looked at my hand and it was fine, save for one little barely-bleeding nick! I started showing it to everyone I could -- "WE HAVE MURDEROUS RABBITS IN THE HOUSE!!!!!" but they took one look and laughed at me. And so I awoke having convinced no one of the truth of the rabbit menace.

It's about time for me to leave the office, so I will catch y'all later. Ja!

-posted by Wes | 3:22 pm | Comments (7)
July 20, 2005
FISH STEAKS! And dreamy linkage.
Category: Dreams … Linkage

And the mystery ingredient was... FISH STEAKS!!! Although "fish" would've been an acceptable answer. Don't know if you've seen those little tins of fish in mustard sauce -- "fish steaks in mustard sauce", "sardines in mustard sauce", etc. -- but that comprised the main ingredient. Usually those are under $1 -- while I probably paid close to 80 cents for the fish steaks, I generally pick up the sardine tins at the dollar store for 50 cents a pop. The cheese, also, came from the dollar store, being from a little tub of "chili con queso", which isn't quite an accurate description of the contents, seeing as how it's pretty much all cheese, but there you go! And no, there's no meat in it! They make it with powdered vegetable bacon substitute or something (which technically means that there were veggies in the mix after all, but in such a small quantity as to be negligible). On to the next!

Looks like poo.

Guesses what that is, anyone? Also, I'm going to go ahead and go through with that new site idea -- need your help on the name. Which do you like better: Grisly Grub, Grody Grub, or Ghastly Grub? I'm leaning towards the latter! And if you have any other suggestions, feel free to voice 'em. 🙂 (more...)

-posted by Wes | 6:06 am | Comments (7)
July 12, 2005
Morning workout.
Category: Dreams

Since the bus this morning was packed to the gills today, I ended up being one of the many standing passengers. Not really a big deal, except that the ceiling bar was high enough off of the ground that I needed to stand on my tip-toes to reach it -- so there I was, straining to hang on as I basically dangled from the bar while pressing my toes onto the floor as hard as I could to keep myself from swinging all about as the bus turned this way and that! So I definitely felt the burn this morning. Kinda makes me wish I had access to a pullup bar!

I had a dream last night that woke me prematurely. After waking, I thought, "Man, I should get up and write that dream down!" But I didn't and went back to sleep instead. Now I've forgotten it. 🙁 But, speaking of dreams, I had a series of strangely erotic ones a couple of weeks ago! One involved being trapped in a falling elevator with two girls of my acquaintance, with one alternating between pointedly ignoring me and sobbing into my chest and the other seeming totally indifferent to my presence. And then there was another one in which a different girl tried to seduce me in my own room! Watching her try to maintain a certain sex appeal as she maneuvered around the piles of action figures and DVD cases that litter my floor was pretty amusing.

Today my horoscope reads, "Tonight: Finally, you feel the force." Um, what the fuck does that mean? Did somebody mail me a lightsaber? Interpretations welcome.

-posted by Wes | 8:31 am | Comments (3)
July 2, 2005
WESOTERIC has been upgraded!
Category: Dreams

In case you visited the page at some point in the last hour and saw nothing here, that's because I was in the process of upgrading WordPress. We're now running version, baby! w00t.

In other news, I actually got to sleep last night this morning... and had some odd dreams. One of which was a really great one in which I actually got a decent job! I woke up grinning from ear to ear. In the dream, I was hired as a "Holly-wood Reporter" for the New York Times! Which doesn't make a lot of sense, now that I think about it. 😛

Hope your weekend's off to a great start!

-posted by Wes | 3:04 pm | Comments (0)
May 20, 2005
"self taxidermy reptile"
Category: Dreams

At some point during the three hours of sleep I got last night, I dreamed that I'd totally forgotten about that pet turtle I purchased exactly 20 days ago and, as a result, had forgotten to feed it. I envisioned myself hurrying to its terrarium, finding it dead, and resurrecting it with a single scrap of wet lettuce and a few magic words. But when I found it dead, placed that scrap of wet lettuce before its tiny mouth, and said the incantation from my imagination, nothing happened. The turtle was dead. But then I picked it up and thought it might make a good action figure of sorts, so I ran a google search for information about how to perform reptile taxidermy at home. Then I woke up. Or, rather, I came to my senses, since I found myself standing over the computer staring at list of search results for "self taxidermy reptile".

As I made my way to the bathroom, though, I kept thinking that something about the dream seemed very real to me. At length, I convinced myself that I hadn't purchased a small turtle, but something about that damned turtle looked too familiar. No, it wasn't a Ninja Turtle, though I did consider that possibility. Then, in the shower, it hit me.

It was fucking Squirtle.

Ugh, I am exhausted.

-posted by Wes | 10:57 am | Comments (5)