Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
April 6, 2006
She's all that and a bag of chips!
Category: Dreams

I don't watch basketball. In fact, I don't watch sports in general. Unless I'm betting on a game and/or the event is part of a known story -- for example, with professional wrestling, albeit that's pretty terrible these days too -- I find myself spectacularly unable to get excited about a bunch of overpaid assholes running around and doing various things with assorted balls. And then fucking hell someone always insists upon talking to one of the athletes, whereupon he/she almost always responds with the same (grammatically incorrect) crap about everyone "working hard" and "giving it 110 percent." I hate sports and I hate sports players and how they are idolized and I wish there were lethal traps on the playing fields in order to simultaneously make the games more interesting and raise the average IQ of society.

Still, last night I dreamed that I was watching a women's basketball game and was totally into it because this pretty girl on the court was fucking awesome. She was all that and a bag of chips! Literally, because she was actually playing while eating a bag of potato chips. When she didn't have the ball, she was holding the bag with one hand and popping chips with the other, but whenever someone passed to her she single-handedly (because the bag was still in the other hand) dribbled circles around the opposing team and totally dunked the ball IN THEIR FACES AWWW YEEEAAAH BOOMSHAKALAKA and then went right back to eating her potato chips as she jogged up and down the court. It was surreal.

I'd watch basketball if more players did impressive stuff like that.

-posted by Wes | 3:12 pm | Comments (2)
March 22, 2006
I had a dream...
Category: Dreams

...that I was at an amusement park and one of the attractions was this live action Superman show starring Winona Ryder as Lois Lane. I wanted to go talk to her after the show, but earlier my pants had gotten wet in the water park and I didn't want her to think I'd wet myself, so I kept my distance for the time being. I woke up before they finished drying. 🙁

Oh, and here's a question for you -- before today, did the GO button for the archives selector to the right fall down to the next line on your display? It didn't on my desktop, but it did on the laptop, which doesn't make a ton of sense seeing as how I'm using the same browser and the same version of that browser over here, but eh. Anyway, I fixed that because it annoyed me.

But not as much as not getting to chat with Winona Ryder.

-posted by Wes | 6:23 pm | Comments (1)
January 6, 2006
Chocolate makes for crazy sleep
Category: Dreams

So, have you ever had one of those days on which you don't want to get out of bed because you're having this really odd and interesting dream and you know that despite being woken by the alarm and being completely awake and even having gone to the bathroom and drunk a glass of water, you'll be able to resume the dream when you crawl back under the covers and close your eyes? Well, that's totally what kept me from crawling out of bed until around 3:30 PM yesterday (and I probably would've stayed even longer, but I had to get to work!) despite initially having set my alarm for 11:00 AM and constantly re-setting it to wake me 45 minutes later every time it interrupted my wacky hijinx on the other side of consciousness. Admittedly, I used to have days like this all the time during my junior year of college (seriously, I'd even skip classes and/or attend them with the express intention of sleeping through them, all for the pleasure of gallavanting with my supernatural pals in a twisted version of the Greek pantheon), which I think had something to do with the fact that I was subsisting on like twenty cookies and a single tuna fish sandwich a day. Similarly, attribute yesterday's adventure to my insane consumption of little chocolate bars over the past couple of days. What's going to happen when I go to sleep upon finishing this post? I can't wait to find out!

I sadly don't remember the dream in its entirety -- or at least I'm pretty sure that more happened, given the length of time that I was asleep and the paucity of details that I can currently recall -- but somehow I ended up hanging out in the parking lot of a local shopping center with two girls who were or were at least somehow based upon I've never actually met in real life. Now, as far as I know, in the real world they've never met each other unless through interactions in my comments section and are related only in the sense that I adore them both, but for some reason they were sisters in the dream. They were also both about my age, despite the fact that one of them is like ten years my senior.

So anyway, we're sitting in this parking lot, talking, and one sister starts going on about how she's totally about to throw up. For some reason this prompts me to take her hand and start telling her that everything's going to be okay -- as if she's just confided that she's been diagnosed with a terrible disease or that she's just found out that aliens have eaten her entire family -- whereupon she comments on the coldness of my hands. She then proceeds to talk about how, at length, she was nervous earlier in the day, and this nervousness caused her to sweat so profusely from her hands that the resultant river came up to her ankles.

She leaves to go throw up in the bathroom of the nearby McDonald's, leaving me alone with the other sister. I forget what we talked about, but after a bit this sister notes that she's cold and is going to walk home -- and for some reason I assume that she lives just around the corner and will be okay. When her sister returns from puking, she tells me that, in truth, they live far, far away, and that terrible danger will befall her sister if we do not find her before she reaches her destination. In hindsight, this strikes me as being kinda odd, seeing as how if she got home she'd be okay, but in the dream I just went along with it.

This sister drove a double-decker bus with a scouting post protruding from the top of it. She drove; I stood at this high, vantage point and peered into the distance in search of the sister. We traversed many bumpy roads, with me almost falling out of this post a number of times and being quite hot underneath the glare of the desert sun, because our travels took us across the desert -- which somehow happened to be located in the middle of my hometown -- and back into an area of this city, and then into a bizarro version of shopping center from which we'd started. Finally, we ended up at this massive high-rise apartment building, where apparently the sisters lived, whereupon we were going to wait for the sister to arrive so that we could intercept her before she entered, because terrible things would happen if she entered alone after having come that long way on foot. And because we needed to spot her from a distance, we sat on the roof of the bus, keeping watch and eating jelly sandwiches while wiggling our bare toes and telling jokes.

That's all I remember. Wacky, no? And now it's time for me to retire for the night! In the meantime, if you've anything to suggest in the way of analysis, ah'm list'nin'. 😉

-posted by Wes | 5:23 am | Comments (0)
December 31, 2005
They stole this scene from my fantasies.
Category: Dreams

When Anakaris met Felicia

BLUE HAIR!!! And you know, I've always wanted to be Pharoah of Egypt.

-posted by Wes | 2:13 am | Comments (2)
October 25, 2005
Category: Dreams

So it's been a while since I wrote anything of substance here. Haven't had much to say, really. The grad school thing hasn't been going very well -- I think I may need to spend more time researching the various programs and options, figuring out what I want to do in the future, etc. than the earlier deadlines permit. And I'm still so uncertain about everything. I'm considering joining up with the Peace Corps or submitting an application for Teach For America. Fuck, I'm even thinking about enlisting. Or taking a bath with a toaster. Hopefully things will come together soon, but honestly I don't see how they're going to. Sighs all around.

Lately I've been very cold and haven't been able to shake this feeling of constant dread: I always feel as if I'm on my way to take a very difficult examination for which I haven't studied -- I don't even know what's going to be on the damned thing -- yet its results will determine the course of the rest of my life. My gut is contracting, my teeth are chattering, my skin is covered with goosebumps. My head hurts. I'd just as soon hide in my room feigning sickness (though it wouldn't exactly be feigning sickness, since I'm so sick with worry I can barely walk without collapsing into a shaking mess) and send the Dean an e-mail to ask for an extension, but that's not an option anymore.

But if I swallow sleeping pills
I might escape these dreadful chills
They'll dress me in my Sunday best
and I won't have to take that test.

Last week I had some interesting dreams -- dreams of running helter-skelter through open fields filled with zombies and climbing wooden fences with cracking white paint and dashing down dusty country roads with a slender girl slung over my shoulder; dreams of hiding on my knees amidst pews in huge worship halls, chanting protection spells as armed gladiators rushed at granite devils wielding slim revolvers and holding the hands of wounded damsels as the light of life left their shining eyes.

Ja ne.

-posted by Wes | 9:44 am | Comments (5)