Okay, so I don't feel like such an idiot tonight. I went back, took a few more of those practice GRE tests, and kicked major ass. My few wrong answers, with the exception of straight guesses on analogies with words I didn't know, consisted of careless shit like me not paying attention to the question's directions or in fact not seeing the question at all because I somehow scrolled past it. And since, hopefully, the latter wouldn't happen during the test due to the pencil-and-paper format (though I recall having made a similar mistakes on a past test and having had to correct for the error by erasing and shifting all of my answers down one) and I'd be a little more attentive to the former difficulty during the actual exam, I think I'd do fairly well. (more...)

You know what I've been getting a lot of lately? Money-grubbing e-mails from Yale. It fucking pisses me off -- I can't even afford to move out of my mother's house, and here the school that got $140K out of dear old dad for four years of torment and murder/rape accusations and a degree that apparently isn't worth the paper on which it's printed has the audacity to ask me for money so that other undegraduates can have "the same great experience" that I had. And then they have the nerve to write, "Boola Boola!" in the subject line! What the fuck does that mean? Seriously.

I should fucking skin Handsome Dan alive.

Get it?

Also, the page now defaults directly to the main page -- no splash. Ja.

There's a lump in the center of my chest. It throbs slightly and slides up and down; it creeps into the base of my throat and then eases itself out again, as if whatever controls its motion is trying to decide whether it wants to see me vomit my heart out or not. Yes, it could be funny, but does the joke justify the mess? And the audience may not see the humor of it.

My gut feels icky; cold and hollow, but not entirely, as if the walls of it are coated with that slime that fills the gel-packs one freezes and stuffs in lunch boxes to keep orange juice cool. Outside, a squirrel darts across the driveway. No, a rabbit. I've never seen a squirrel that moved so fast or with such purpose with such a linear course. No pauses, no deviations -- a straight jet, almost as if the thing had been skewered and yanked across the concrete on a metal rod. (more...)

Extremely awkward day today -- spent a good chunk of it with people who in all likelihood will never see me again. What does one say in that kind of situation, especially when it may not be clear to the other person(s) that this will be the final get-together? In this case, at least, featuring me. The people I was with see each other all the time -- so much so that I didn't even feel like I was there today, which kind of made it even worse. (more...)