Extremely awkward day today -- spent a good chunk of it with people who in all likelihood will never see me again. What does one say in that kind of situation, especially when it may not be clear to the other person(s) that this will be the final get-together? In this case, at least, featuring me. The people I was with see each other all the time -- so much so that I didn't even feel like I was there today, which kind of made it even worse.

(Though better, in a sense; I know quite well I won't be missed, and I won't be, which will make it easier to deal with in the end for all parties concerned. Besides, these two are off to very special places! Everyone's moving on to better places these days. It's got me to thinking that it's high time I moved on too -- and for worthless fuckers like me, there's only one place to go.)

I mean, I didn't want to put too much of a damper on the proceedings by plainly drawing attention to the fact that they'll never see me again, but at the same time I kind of wanted to say, "Hey, this is it! Look well at my face (if you care to remember it, that is; I wouldn't; it's not a very attractive face anyway), ask your questions now (if the answers of the damned concern you at all), and say your goodbyes! I bid you farewell! Good luck in life! Sayonara!" I had a tough time of it. And what of all of those people who have already seen me for the last time and didn't know it at all -- maybe even I didn't know it would be the last time at that point -- will they wonder about what they would've done differently if they had known? Will that be the case with the people today, who probably weren't aware of it, despite subtle commentary to that effect?

I doubt it.

To all of the people reading who will never see me again (though I may very well see you again; who knows?), goodbye and good luck! Glad tidings to you! Vaya con dios! All my love and the best.