I don't watch "American Idol", so the name Alexis Cohen didn't ring any bells for me when I spotted it in the lede of an article about the circumstances and aftermath of her recent passing. However, after reading the full article (just one of many concerning these events) and watching the Youtube video at the end, I'm thinking that is probably not how I'd like to be remembered. And although Cohen strikes me as being a bit "off," I wonder if she would have done things differently -- or even gone on the show at all -- if she'd known that, upon her death, news articles would be referring to a "drunken 'Idol' killer" and calling her a "nutty 'Idol' contestant" in oddly lyrical headlines and featuring embedded videos of her sailor-tongued tirade.

On the other hand, she's got an entry in Wikipedia (even if it is apparently being considered for deletion). I want a Wikipedia entry, gosh darnit! Or at least one for Scary-Crayon. Perhaps I should don my crayon bandolier and strap one of my larger crayons to my back and show up at the next "Idol" audition session, eh? Perhaps I could sing an extended version of the Evil Joe song (though I think it owes much of its appeal to its brevity).

I am, of course, joking. If nothing else -- in the event of my unfortunate passing under "newsworthy" circumstances -- I wouldn't want journalists sensationalizing my death by attaching "American Idol" to my name. I mean, Cohen was at these auditions for what, two days out of her life? And yet the show's getting top billing in headlines about her death. It is true that the mention of a drunken "Idol" killer was what compelled me to read the article -- and thus learn about Alexis Cohen -- so I suppose it has had the effect of making at least one more person aware of the loss of an odd and colorful individual. Those kinds of headlines will ensure that Cohen is acknowledged and remembered by many, if only momentarily.

Is that how you'd want to be remembered?

A few nights ago, I dreamed that my laptop had come down with a strange and persistent virus. My entire system was pretty much overrun with advertisements for a shipping company -- to the point that my Windows background, all of my desktop icons, and any image on my machine became ads -- ultimately culminating in one big ad that covered the entire screen and made it impossible for me to see any of the windows behind it. Upon [i]finally[/i] managing to shut the machine down, I attempted to reboot... only to find my startup screens also replaced by ads. It was bloody frustrating, and the ads kept thwarting me at every turn. I woke up just as I successfully booted into safe mode.

And then, tonight, I dreamed that my laptop gained sentience. Nothing really happened after that point, mind you -- the computer and I just talked, and I found the whole thing both worrisome and even a little bit cool. But while the machine didn't do anything sinister, it did refer to itself as Venjix. This was one of those worrisome/cool things. Worrisome because Venjix is the Skynet of Power Rangers RPM; cool because my computer named itself after a villainous computer system from Power Rangers. Even if I weren't evil, I'd probably do something similar if I were a sentient computer.

I think I'd pick a Decepticon name, though. 😉

So... goofy new category! I can think of several older posts that would make for appropriate entries (here's one), but rather than retroactively adding them to the category I think I'll just revisit those lovely animated ladies at some point. Yay! Anyway, here's our first two-dimensional dreamboat:

Name: Kiddy Phenil
Height: 166 cm (5'5")
Weight: Unknown
Blood Type: B
Eye Color: Purple
Birthplace: Australia
Birthdate: 10/4/2005
Series: Silent Mobius

After she was fatally wounded in pursuit of a rampaging megadyne cyborg, Mega-Tokyo police officer Kiddy Phenil opted to become a cyborg herself in order to destroy the being responsible for her transformation into a sexy super-strong cybernetic hottie an undesirable freak who can never live a normal life. Of course, no cyborg lass goes unwanted in any anime for long, so several episodes into "Silent Mobius" Kiddy hooks up with the jerkiest guy she can find. See, most men are understandably intimidated by a woman who routinely punches holes in concrete walls, but Kiddy likes a man remains unafraid of her and "treats her like an equal" (read: shit) even after she brutally kicks his ass multiple times. (more...)

Last night, I dreamed that I was sitting at the kitchen table when I noticed these two really huge spiders approaching me. Not normal daddy long legs huge or even tarantula huge -- we're talking swollen grapefruits with eight cigar-thick hairy legs huge. And I wasn't so much freaked out as I was annoyed by their presence, because apparently these enormous spiders had accosted me before.

"Fuck," I said, "it's these things again."

I tried stomping on them, but for some reason I was unable to do so despite them being as big as my feet. When they began to climb the chair, I stood, shook them back onto the floor, and swung a black tarpaulin over them. I then went to the tool drawer, retrieved a hammer, and waited at the edge of the tarp for them to emerge so that I could smash their furry heads in.

After minutes of waiting, I removed the tarpaulin to find that they had vanished. The moment I made this discovery, however, I heard a squeak from behind -- and I whirled to see a large (think Ben-sized), fat white mouse zipping around the house. So quite naturally I began diving after the thing with the hammer, smashing dent after dent into the floor as I repeatedly tried and failed to kill the damned thing. (more...)

Kuchisake-onna on Wikipedia

Google image search for "kuchisake onna"

YouTube video about the Kuchisake-onna

I'd kinda like to make a custom figure of her, actually! I'd just need the right base figure, a miniature surgical mask... and a tiny pair of scissors.