Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
March 9, 2010
Why it sucks to be me
Category: Serious … TV, Film, & DVDs

So I happened to see a television ad for a movie last night. I don't recall the specific movie -- some comedy, obviously. The voiceover enthusiastically described it as being "the funniest movie since The Hangover!"

Immediately this struck me as sounding incredibly stupid. Wasn't The Hangover fairly recent? I was thinking that the movie had come out within the last two or three years, in which case the commercial would essentially have been saying, "This is the funniest movie in two or three years!" Even taking into account the significant number of films released each year, that just doesn't sound terribly impressive.

In reality, The Hangover was released in 2009. In June. "This is the funniest movie in nine months!" Ugh. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 6:15 pm | Comments (1)
February 9, 2010
Jack Van Impe is insaaaaaaaane
Category: Serious … TV, Film, & DVDs

I'd never heard of this guy before seeing his program on television the other night, but holy fuck is he spewing some crazy shit. Granted, it's not uniquely crazy -- he kept perseverating on the same one-world government and end-of-times Antichrist nonsense believed so fervently by the nuttier Christian sects and depicted so well in the Left Behind series (haven't read the books, but those movies are creepy) -- but still. I actually had no idea they allowed this insanity on television, let alone on regular channels.

Speaking of insanity, how about that Rexella? The whole program is pretty nuts, but this woman just batshit crazy. Look at those eyes!

Screw the book, Rexxy -- just send me some of whatever you're popping. That said, she does look damned good for being almost 80... I'm guessing those donations have allowed her to hire a pretty good plastic surgeon. Praise Jesus! (more...)

-posted by Wes | 7:38 pm | Comments (10)
February 4, 2010
Name those… yeah… Part 2!

And here are the answers to last time's challenge!

The sprites in that old graphic came from...

TMNT: TF -- Leonardo's Stage
TMNT: TF -- Wingnut's Stage

The SNES version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Tournament Fighters!

And the background was from...

TMNT: MM -- Ivory Smugglers, Mission 3

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Manhattan Missions!!!

Moving along, there's the matter of that ass... (more...)

-posted by Wes | 4:17 am | Comments (2)
January 31, 2010
Name those… yeah… Part 1!
Category: Miscellany … SC Updates … TV, Film, & DVDs

SO! I was going through some old graphics folders looking for a photo to include in my latest Scary-Crayon article -- which contains some stuff personal enough that I almost cut it from the piece and posted it here, so readers of my blog who don't typically enjoy SC might still want to check it out -- and I came across a couple of images I thought it might be fun to post. And heck, I thought, we might as well make a game out of it! So see if you can identify the stuff in these pics via the comments (if you like), and I'll post again in a day or so to let you know how you did.

"What happened to the love in lovemaking?"

Back in college, I wrote articles and created some graphics for a student magazine for a couple of semesters -- and this is the graphic I made using some sprites and a background for one particular feature. See if you can guess which two respective games the sprites and background came from! I'll give you a hint -- both games share the same protagonists, and I reviewed one of them on SC (the list of relevant articles is here).


And since today's update also saw me rooting around in my DVD screen capture directory, I figured I'd post this image and challenge you to Name That Ass! That is, I challenge you to guess whose ass that is. And the legs, since they obviously belong to the same person. And I know what you're thinking, Mickey -- that's not the right answer. 😉 In fact, this screencap came from a children's movie made in the 1990s. It currently has an IMDb user rating below 4.0. (If you really wanna play, this search tool may prove useful. It's pretty useful anyway, actually. I just found out about it!)

Okey-doke, post your guesses in the comments -- among whatever else you'd like to write -- and I'll reveal the answers in a few days or so. (And I still haven't forgotten about your questions, Mickey!) Ja!

-posted by Wes | 3:58 am | Comments (8)
January 9, 2010
Comments on the latest “Dollhouse” episode

I tend to post to #db while watching shows, especially if folks there have already seen the episodes or will see them soon. I try to avoid comments that are too spoilery, so what I have to say is generally pretty shallow and unspecific, but hopefully my reaction to the final development will be apparent from the comments below! Here's what I wrote about last night's "Dollhouse":

<Wes> I can totally see Glau's booty through her skirt

<Wes> aaaand all is forgotten with the return of AA

<Wes> Journeybro!

<Wes> nooooez

<Wes> I'd wish I had more time with that loveliness too
<Wes> time for blue hair dye jobs

<Wes> wait what the fuck


<Wes> ...
<Wes> what
<Wes> fuck this show

The usual suspects are already raving about how awesome the episode was, but I thought it was bloody stupid. Yeah, there were a couple of revelations -- one in particular -- that were "shocking" and unexpected, but it was in that comic-esque "ONO my new wife is actually my dead twin sister's baby from the future" way. Apparently the next episode or so will attempt to convince us that this twist was really in the works all along, but there really was no reason to suspect it -- unless one was simply expecting the least likely result to obtain for no apparent reason. I hate shit like that.

It's in these instances that the writing disparities between inferior shows like "Dollhouse" and "Heroes" (and "Smallville") and superior shows like "Dexter" are most apparent. The former shows drop these WTF moments on you without any warning, almost such that it seems like even the writers didn't decide to go that route until fairly recently in the story. With "Dexter," there are certainly WTF moments -- but they've not only clearly been carefully plotted beforehand, but also set up to the extent that the viewer has probably interpreted at least some of the clues correctly.

A good show gradually lays down the puzzle pieces in order to build towards the greater picture, though it might drop two or six pieces on you in rapid succession at key moments. Shows like "Dollhouse" meander along and then throw technicolor posters in your face while screaming, "BLAMMO!! YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT, WERE YOU?!?!?"

And no, I wasn't expecting that -- but it's still bloody stupid.

-posted by Wes | 6:59 am | Comments (4)
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