Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
March 3, 2008
Somebody save me...
Category: SC Updates … Toys

Just. too. cute.

As noted in A Crayon Haiku #74 and the attendant Scary-Crayon blog entry, I really, really would like to stop watching this awful show. But I can't. And why not? Because Allison Mack is just too cute. Argh.

I was about to draw a parallel between my viewing of "Smallville" and many women watching "The Oprah Winfrey Show" -- despite both programs being undeniably terrible and headache-inducing -- but I don't think it's a proper comparison. True, women swoon over Oprah, but I don't think they're doing it in quite the same way. Unless, of course, they are.


Madballs Series 2!

And with that brilliant segue into disgusting subject matter comes our other news -- which I suppose isn't really news if you've been keeping up with Scary-Crayon. The good folks at Basic Fun stumbled upon my review of the Series 1 Madballs and were kind enough to hook me up with an advance set of the Series 2 'balls! (Thanks again, y'all! :mrgreen: ) So here's the review of those! I love Madballs even more than Allison Mack.

I was about to suggest perhaps combining Miss Mack and Madballs into an even greater entity, but somehow I don't think that would work very well.

-posted by Wes | 7:09 am | Comments (4)
February 26, 2008
First things first...
Category: Dreams … Toys

So I never did finish up that new year's post I'd started way back when. Maybe I'll get around to that someday. Anyway, I'm ready to post about new stuff, but before I do here's the part of that old entry that I did complete. Woo.

For those not in the know, the topic is one of the many Bizarro ways of saying HAPPY NEW YEAR! There are others, of course -- and although technically Bizarro speak simply involves speaking in opposites, it can be pretty imprecise. For example, in Superman/Batman #24, Bizarro says, "Superman no am in trouble!" -- meaning that Superman is in trouble. Yet he then says, "He no am with Darkseid having fun!" At the time, Superman is indeed with Darkseid. However, since he certainly is not having fun, the entire statement isn't a negation of the truth -- and given that Superman isn't having fun with Darkseid, it is arguably true as stated. Similarly, Bizarro will refer to Superman as his "worst idol" -- by which he means his greatest idol -- but refer to Batzarro as his "worst enemy" -- by which he means his best friend.

Needless to say, deciphering Bizarro speak can be a confusing affair.

Anyway, I hope your new year is going well thus far! Mine is going less well than I'd hoped -- that is, in the dream department. (Not that things are going great otherwise, mind you, but they're not going terribly either. As usual, we're about par for the course.) See, whereas my last dream of 2007 was a new experience for me and my first dream of 2008 proved similarly encouraging, my second dream pretty much dashed my hopes of 2008 ushering in a new era of awesome dreams. Let me explain.

On December 31, 2007, I took a several-hour midday nap and awoke on schedule to the frenzied beeping of my Mickey Mouse alarm clock. However, when I rose from my bed and attempted to turn off the clock, I found myself unable to silence it despite pressing and depressing the singular button several times. I sadly assumed that the clock had finally broken on me -- I've had it as long as I can remember; I distinctly recall its beeping sound waking me at 4:30 AM on Saturday mornings so I could watch "Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends" -- and ventured to remove the batteries from it one final time.

I had the batteries in my hand, but it continued to beep.

Impossible? Yes, impossible. Impossible. Unless...

"This is a fucking dream!" I said aloud. When I turned to see another identical alarm clock perched atop a floating shelf that isn't actually in my real room (which, despite my apparent understanding of the nature of my reality, didn't register with me at the time), I repeated my assertion. "This is a fucking dream!!! And when attempting to turn that clock off and removing its batteries failed to silence the beeping, I closed my eyes and willed myself to wake up for real.

Upon doing so and silencing good ol' Mickey (still working just as well as ever!) I considered that that was the first dream I have ever had in which I realized with certainty that I was dreaming. I've had other dreams that I've suspected of being dreams, but then I am prone to getting that sneaking suspicion in waking life as well -- particularly when I find myself in well-stocked toystores or the VCD/DVD shops of NYC's Chinatown.

And perhaps I'll write more about that at a later date (but probably not). Long story short, though -- the next dream had me wandering around different locales and somehow controlling the dream so that I was ultimately cuddling with this cute little blonde number in a grey sweater (who, though I wasn't familiar with the actress at the time, bore a strong resemblance to Allison Mack). Encouraging, right? Then I went on to dream about being shot in the back of the head and bleeding profusely for what seemed like an eternity before I finally opened my eyes and found myself in bed. Yippee.

-posted by Wes | 7:12 pm | Comments (1)
January 12, 2008
Pending Photo Post!
Category: Photo … Toys

Still working on that "official" new year's post -- it's currently in the form of a half-finished draft -- but here is a quick photo post in the meantime!

Wes hearts Scary-Crayon.

I'm planning on redoing Scary-Crayon's site info page and including a proper "About Me" blurb, so I decided to take a new photo for it. I know how much you were pining for another shirtless Wes pic, but I decided to try out the new SC shirt I ordered and pose with the original site mascots and inspirations for the design (as well as the site's name). Behind me on the top shelf is somewhere between 30% and 50% of the insane amount of Transformers toys I acquired last year. If you look closely, you can also see Yoshi and some Creepy Freaks on the bottom shelf. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 12:08 pm | Comments (7)
January 5, 2008
2008 pending... yeah.
Category: SC Updates … Toys

I do have an "official" new year's post planned, but I've been a bit too busy to get to it during the past week. In the meantime, here are some recent Scary-Crayon links and a few more toy photos!

Much of what I've been up to lately (in an unpaid capacity, anyway) has involved SC, since I couldn't let the site go without a January 1 update! In addition to Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #103, which takes its cue from the most recent episode of "To Catch a Predator," I posted a (late, I know) summary review of my most favorite holiday special: George and the Christmas Star. Some of you may already have seen it, but -- if not -- the review also contains two clips of musical numbers from the special. For geekier readers, the review is also littered with Transformers, Doctor Who, and other fun references.

Also, in the hopes of adding a little more diversity to SC in the coming year, I have also posted a lengthy list of guidelines for submitting content! Most of this stuff probably goes without saying, but one can never be too careful when it comes to this sort of thing. So yes, if submitting to SC sounds like something you'd like to do -- and I would especially like to see pieces from some of you who know who you are (!!!) -- slog through the guidelines and send me some ideas. 🙂

And now, more toys!

Dalek Thay, Red X, and Martha Jones

Red X has been around here for a while -- I think I acquired him shortly after "Teen Titans" stopped airing -- but I brought him back up to my room after I got the Neo Shifter because it came with an extra piece that reminded me of a small container of xenothium (which Red X is holding in the photo). Dalek Thay and Martha, however, are my first toy acquisitions of 2008! I did order them in the final days of 2007, but still.

Dalek Thay and Martha from behind!

Thay is more or less the same as all of the other Character Options Daleks in my collection, but what differentiates him is the rear panel "damage" that he incurred in Series 3. I liked it a lot less in theory and in the online pictures -- the toy just looked like a messed up Dalek -- but now that he's here I rather like it because it differentiates him from my other CO Daleks. Technically I already have a Thay since I have the Cult of Skaro set, but since there's no way I can tell him apart from Jast and Caan I tend to think of them all as being "regular" Daleks. But now I have an identifiable Thay to stand with Sec. So while something happened in my continuity to cause the rear panel damage, that ridiculous Human Dalek shit never happened.

Martha is another figure that I wasn't too keen on upon seeing the online pics, but I like her a lot more in the flesh... er, soft plastic as well. The facial sculpt really is a lot better than it appears in small pictures (and even this larger one doesn't do it as much justice as I'd like) -- it might even be my favorite human sculpt among the CO figures. Most of them have a kind of dead mannequin look to them, but Martha's got this slight smirk that imbues her figure with a little more life. And like Thay, her backside is rather nice and complements the toy well. 😉

All for now -- more from me later regarding my optimistic hopes for 2008 that were subsequently thwarted in rather violent fashion. Hope y'all are enjoying the new year thus far, though! Ja.

-posted by Wes | 5:23 pm | Comments (1)
December 28, 2007
New Photos... and shirts!
Category: SC Updates … Toys

Been fooling with the light tent more -- here are some of the latest shots. I think I'm starting to prefer the grey background over the white!


Godzilla requires no explanation, really.

Neo Shifters are kinda cool.

Neo Shifters are giant robots that fold up into balls. They're kinda neat, though I'm not sure I'd recommend them for kids -- unless, of course, the parent is willing to go through the lengthy and potentially headache-inducing assembly process. Putting them together isn't quite as involved as, say, Lego Daleks, but it's enough for me to not want to do it again unless I come across one of these things at a hefty discount.

Again with the Lego Daleks!

And speaking of those 150+ piece custom creations, here are the Lego Daleks with Dalek Sec and one of the shuttlecock brood. Apparently I was mistaken before, as the Legoleks are actually a little larger than those guys. One of these days I'm going to have to see if I can crowd my entire Dalek collection into the light tent -- but with the current count at 21 (3 shuttlecocks, 2 Legoleks, 1 shower gel, 5 of the 5" Character Options figs, and 10 paper), I'm not sure they all could fit. 😛

New Scary-Crayon shirts!

In other news, I've added some new shirts and other merchandise to the Scary-Crayon store -- these ones are based on the new site header and lack the decidedly not-family-friendly hockey mask-wearing crayon. I've also reduced prices by at least $1 on all items (base Cafepress prices are still kinda high, though, so that's not saying much). So if you were ever contemplating getting a SC shirt but didn't want to freak out your grandmother with mentions of homicidal cock-blocking, you may now do so. I'm looking forward to ordering one of the black tees myself! :mrgreen:

-posted by Wes | 2:17 pm | Comments (2)