Has anyone else noticed that child characters in American cartoons often exhibit a maturity far beyond their fictional years? I was just watching Juniper Lee, whom I'd always assumed (based on her interests, friends, attitude, etc.) was somewhere in the neighborhood of 15 or 16 years old, when she commented that she's 11. What? You've got characters like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who are supposed to be teenagers, yet they've not only managed to master a centuries old martial art and lifestyle with extremely limited resources and training, but then you've got Donatello routinely constructing inventions far beyond anything modern science can produce -- and with no formal education or funding whatsoever. The same goes for the Teen Titans (though I think the Titans are funded by Cyborg's wealthy father, and Robin could probably secure additional finances from Batman if necessary) and other kid superhero groups, almost all of which are self-sufficient despite the members' young ages. And sure, the Turtles have Splinter watching over them in a fatherly capacity, but considering that the average lifespan for rats is 2-3 years, with the maximum recorded rat lifespan being 7 years and 4 months, how much older than the Turtles can he really be? (To say nothing of the astonishing notion that he somehow mastered ninjitsu in such a short length of time! Of course, this particular difficulty is absent if we consider the origin story in which Splinter and Hamato Yoshi are one and the same.) And then there are infants like Stewie Griffin ("Family Guy") and Baby Herman (Who Framed Roger Rabbit?), though their exaggerated maturity is employed for comic effect.

Younger characters in anime, on the other hand, more often than not seem an accurate reflection of their ages -- though this may be a function of certain cultural differences, as the humor and artistic style of many animes (the vast majority of which, in my experience, have focused on the adventures of younger characters) seems, to American sensibilities, more illustrative of juvenile attitudes.

If there were graduate programs offering degrees in cartoon scholarship, I'd totally be down.

Oh, and speaking of cartoons, here are my early reviews of the premiere episodes of "The Boondocks" and "MinoriTEAM"... (more...)

I'd like to be sleeping right now, but they've been at it outside with the jackhammers for the last hour. I wonder if what they're doing is part of an intricate scheme to take over the world or otherwise upset the foundation of society. Or is it all in my head? It's giving me a fucking headache. And since I can't really do anything that requires much concentration -- and therefore a certain measure of quiet -- I'm writing another blog entry.

Question for the creative types: How often do you have ideas for projects for which you think, if you were able to complete them (and the public actually paid attention), people would violently attack you and even try to kill you for vocally expressing so contrary a point of view? Because maybe I'm just paranoid, or overestimating the uniqueness of my own ideas, or underestimating the capacity of people to tolerate, understand, and even accept new and differing ideas (as opposed to simply ignoring them; I can't even get people to publish my fiction, with "too didactic" being among the primary reasons cited for the rejection of my work), but I think I have ideas for enterprises like that at least twice a week. (more...)

(Note: This entry isn't really that serious, but it does address an issue in more/less analytical fashion and thereby constitutes an "essay" of sorts... and, as such, I've tagged it accordingly.)

The other day, The Anonymous Blogger asked, "Why do so many women prefer to date/mate with men that are of taller stature than themselves?" It's a valid question -- though it sounds odd coming from a guy who's 6'1" -- and apparently interests more than a few people, as a number of answers, concerns, and even solutions were voiced in the discussion that followed in TAB's comments section. For example, Caren suggested that shorter men wear platform shoes in order to close the height gap and make themselves more attractive to women. "I'm not saying you SHOULD change," she writes. "I'm just saying that if this is really a big complaint, get some shoes."

Granted, on the surface, this seems like a viable solution for short men. Okay, I'm lying. At a glance, this enterprise seems doomed to failure -- and, of course, it is. Instead of simply rejecting the man because he's too short -- which, despite their criticism and often hurtful comments, women understand isn't really the guy's fault -- they would turn him away with extreme prejudice for attempting to mask his height with ridiculous elevator shoes. But let's pretend for a moment that the idea isn't wholly devoid of merit. Caren's rationale admittedly makes a certain kind of sense: "If a man shows up for a first date in the shoes" -- with the caveat that the shoes don't look too silly -- "then there's a better chance that a height-obsessed woman will be attracted." However, that argument presupposes something about the reasons that women prefer taller guys to shorter guys -- which we'll see in the following pop culture example. (more...)

And I'm sure this has been said before, but after catching up on a couple of Dawn's recent posts today I got to thinking -- why is it that the members of the so-called "right" are so concerned with things that ultimately do not concern them? I really don't get it. People often attack me with a similar line -- "It doesn't affect you; why do you care?" -- but usually, when I hate something, it does affect me in some significant way. That's a different topic. But for this one, I really don't understand how these issues are going to have some significant impact on the lives of the people who adamantly disapprove of the "liberal" position.

There's the issue of abortion. If you don't like abortions, don't have one! Why fight against same-sex marriage rights so vehemently? It's not like same-sex couples will be enjoying their conjugal relations in your bed! And the more I think about this issue, the more I'm coming to believe that those opposing same-sex marriage must necessarily exhibit a certain bigotry or hate in maintaining their position -- and I almost wish they'd be as honest as Fred Phelps and outright state that God hates fags and so do they (!) in their crusade to keep same-sex partners from enjoying conjugal benefits.

I used to think that one could have compassion -- and even love -- for "gay" people while maintaining that they believe homosexuality is wrong. But when you tell an individual that his/her relationship with his/her beloved is detrimental to the fabric of society and the very foundations of family life -- and is, moreover, a most heinous sin and an abomination in the eyes of God -- there is no possible way you can love that person any more than you can claim to love a person while cursing and shitting on everything that that person values and holds dear. Those who oppose same-sex marriages often cite their disapproval of the lifestyle -- but the issue isn't about the so-called "lifestyle." It isn't about those guys skipping around in the restrooms of the YMCA in leather chaps with with their hairy asses open and waiting to receive loads of steaming hot baby batter in their rectal pleasure centers. It's about individuals who deeply care about each other and want to spend the rest of their lives with one another. And fuck you for trying to keep them apart.

And what's with the label of "conservative" anyway? I can see its application in the same-sex marriage case, but with respect to abortion? Repealing Roe v. Wade is decidedly anti-conservative and radical. It would result in change -- lots of change, you betcha! -- and hardly for the better; you'd have women getting abortions in back alleys with clothes hangers and intentionally falling down the stairs and drinking and smoking like crazy throughout their pregnancies just to spite the people who forced them to have babies they never wanted in the first place, and then you'd have a generation of monsters rising up against the government that forced them into being when they never should have been! And can you imagine the chaos that would result if the so-called "right" got its way and contraceptive methods were outlawed too?!? It would be insane! But it would also make for a great and horrific sci-fi novel.

Why are you trying to get into everyone's Kool-Aid, righties? It's not your home and it's not your kitchen and it's not your refrigerator and it's not your clear plastic pitcher bearing the ancient, scratched visage of Purplesaurus Rex. Leave people be, for God's sake!

Things rarely affect me one way or the other, but sometimes I read things so ridiculous that they cause me to quake with indignation. That's not what this post is about, though -- just saying.

I'm not sure what got me to thinking about this the other night, but somehow I started considering the various causes of my descent into the gothic world -- and it dawned on me that the picture of the ideal goth boy is pretty much the stark opposite of my own physical appearance. The physical attributes that have caused women to constantly and consistently curse and spit upon me over the course of my life -- my lack of height, the shade of my skin, even my shape (you have no idea how many of my crushes -- like, all of them -- have squeezed my arms and then, after making what I took to be a complimentary statement about my form, added, "But I hate men with muscles! I prefer skinny guys.") -- all find their antithesis in the tall, pallid, gaunt form of the gothic Prince Charming. And I was always dark, mind you, but I wonder if the desire to be close to these apparently perfect specimens dwelled had something to do with it. (more...)