(Note: This entry isn't really that serious, but it does address an issue in more/less analytical fashion and thereby constitutes an "essay" of sorts... and, as such, I've tagged it accordingly.)
The other day, The Anonymous Blogger asked, "Why do so many women prefer to date/mate with men that are of taller stature than themselves?" It's a valid question -- though it sounds odd coming from a guy who's 6'1" -- and apparently interests more than a few people, as a number of answers, concerns, and even solutions were voiced in the discussion that followed in TAB's comments section. For example, Caren suggested that shorter men wear platform shoes in order to close the height gap and make themselves more attractive to women. "I'm not saying you SHOULD change," she writes. "I'm just saying that if this is really a big complaint, get some shoes."
Granted, on the surface, this seems like a viable solution for short men. Okay, I'm lying. At a glance, this enterprise seems doomed to failure -- and, of course, it is. Instead of simply rejecting the man because he's too short -- which, despite their criticism and often hurtful comments, women understand isn't really the guy's fault -- they would turn him away with extreme prejudice for attempting to mask his height with ridiculous elevator shoes. But let's pretend for a moment that the idea isn't wholly devoid of merit. Caren's rationale admittedly makes a certain kind of sense: "If a man shows up for a first date in the shoes" -- with the caveat that the shoes don't look too silly -- "then there's a better chance that a height-obsessed woman will be attracted." However, that argument presupposes something about the reasons that women prefer taller guys to shorter guys -- which we'll see in the following pop culture example.
Does anyone remember "Saved by the Bell"? This subject was actually addressed in the show's first episode (not counting the "Good Morning, Miss Bliss" episodes that were lated included in the show's canon), with Jessie Spano (Elizabeth Berkeley, later of Showgirls fame) spurning a guy because he was a foot shorter than her and spending the episode making cracks about his height to her friends. (In keeping with the tone of the show, however, she eventually realized that he was a nice guy and ended up dancing with him at the end of the episode -- after which, naturally, he was never seen again.) But what makes this instance particularly relevant to Caren's suggestion is that the guy was sitting down when they initially met. Jessie thought he was great; they hit it off; she agreed to go out with him -- and then he stood up! -- and suddenly he was no longer date material, despite their obvious chemistry beforehand. Similarly, a woman who cares about height and gets on well with a guy isn't going to react favorably if she later discovers that he was wearing platform shoes. All of her reasons for not dating short guys will rush to the forefront of her consciousness, hardly slowed by the knowledge that, all other things considered, she really likes this guy. And while in positive, upbeat sitcoms she may eventually get over the height thing, she's probably going to dump him in the real world. Think about it -- is a woman who's obsessed with footlong dicks going to follow her heart and stay with a man after she finds out he's been stuffing his pants? Only on Jerry Springer (which is kind of weird, if you think about it).
Part of this has to do with the reasons that women prefer taller guys. In the SbtB episode, Jessie appeared to agonize over the fact that "everyone would be staring at them" when she danced with a guy who only came up to her shoulder. But when nobody with whom she spoke thought it was a big deal and basically told her to stop being stupid, she realized that her problem wasn't how she thought they would look to others -- it was about how she felt about her own appearance, even in the absence of the shorter man. Her issue wasn't his shortness; it was her tallness. (If I recall correctly, this was cleverly depicted in a dream sequence in which she envisioned herself as a giant monster.) Accordingly, the women who commented on TAB's entry noted that they prefer taller men because, as women, they like to feel dainty and petite in the company of a lover -- not that they want to look that way. So to answer Caren's suggestion, even if a man wore shoes that made him appear to be as tall as or taller than his girl, she'd know that he was wearing them and her heart's fairy tale illusion would be shattered. To her mind, it would be as if he had to pilot a hulking mech to appear capable of protecting her -- hardly a very romantic image. And it's not like he'd be wearing the shoes all the time, anyway.
Most of the women who commented also noted, in their defense, that men have their hangups too -- particularly with respect to weight. However, there's a difference. If you ask a man why he finds fat women unappealing, more often than not the answer has to do with how he thinks he'd be perceived by others. How many times have guys admitted that they'd be more than willing to jump on certain overweight girls of their company under cover of night, but that they wouldn't be caught dead with said girls in public? I don't even think that way, but even I've jokingly observed that certain women -- oftentimes the smiling, chubby girls standing behind the counter at Taco Bell -- would probably fall into that "as long as nobody finds out!" category.
So while both the heavy girl and the short guy more often than not find themselves rejected on the basis of their appearances, at least the heavy girls can become objects of fantasy behind closed doors. Men close their eyes and envision their heaving bosoms and ample backsides while jfuriously jerking the dick in their hands; large women recline on hotel beds and are hand-fed chocolate-covered strawberries by wealthy businessmen while their slim, unwitting trophy wives stay at home and clean house -- or, in today's changing world, manage their own careers as well as the household. Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky come to mind; recall also Tom Buchanan and Myrtle Wilson in F. Scott Fitzgerald's classic novel. Both Hilary and Daisy were more attractive in society's eyes, but these men were more than willing to roll with the big girls behind the scenes.
In women's fairy tales, however, Prince Charming is always a strong, strapping young lad of significant height. Short guys are, by contrast, cast as the repugnant, deformed villains -- goblins, trolls, Rumplestiltskin -- baby-eating creatures who make ridiculous demands of women, ordering them to spin their hair into gold and other such nonsense. And even when diminutive men do not assume the roles of such odious characters, the best that they can hope to be are friends. The seven dwarves saved Snow White from certain death in the wilderness; they took her in and fed and clothed her and protected her as best they could (and probably would've succeeded if she hadn't been so stupid that she'd eat an apple from the creepiest old woman ever); but what was it that ultimately revived her and caused her to live happily ever after? A kiss from some random (albeit handsome) guy she'd never met!
Holy digression, Batman! Anyway, my point was that platform shoes wouldn't make short men any more attractive to women for whom height is important -- which, as we've seen, it wouldn't. Ergo demonstratum est.
CL says: 
mrs. nelson 
Jaime 