I'd actually been meaning to do this for a while, so I figured while I was still in a coding mood I'd go ahead and add something else to the sidebar -- a link to my online DVD Profiler collection -- which can now be found in the side box beneath the Scary-Crayon plug. Bonus points if you can guess the actress and film from which the image was taken! 😀

This town is literally fucking falling apart. It's pretty sad -- excluding the two (or was it three?) week summer program they paid me to work at my high school one summer, my first real job was at that mall. I still remember when it was nice and I used to spend Saturdays hanging out in the arcade there, before the arcade closed and the other stores (including the KB Toys where I used to work) closed and the mall went to shit. And now the walkway collapses! It's like it knew there was no reason for people to go there anyway.

And check out this cartoon (the June 28 one) -- that's the county in which I live, where the murder rate is higher than that of the nation's capital. The smaller text on the Sunshine Mortuary sign reads, "Inquire inside about our HOMICIDE victim discount."

So maybe I don't even need to worry about killing myself, since living here will probably see me dead sooner or later anyway -- either a building will fall on me or I'll get shot by some fool while walking back from Giant! But seriously, I need to get the fuck out of here.

Dear commuters:

Please take the time to wash your hair before boarding the buses -- preferably with dandruff control shampoo -- as I don't appreciate you sitting in front of me, leaning your heads back as far as you can, and powdering my lap anew with off-white scalp flakes every time the bus lurches into motion after stopping for whatever reason. It's revolting and unsanitary.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Argh! What will I do?
The hunger is upon me!
And I have no chips. 🙁

Today, I have shredded in excess of four thousand pages of social security numbers, with still roughly five hundred or so that must be fed by my hand to that mechanical contraption that shares its name with that of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' arch-nemesis. It is an exceedingly tedious and boring and noisy task, but it keeps me from focusing on this gnawing pain in the pit of my gut.

Usually the hunger pangs don't set in until about 12:50PM, but today they were upon me even before 10:00AM. I think it's because I actually ate three meals yesterday (!), whereas I'm used to only eating once a day in the evening. (Sure, I suffer around midday, but eventually my stomach gives up its futile protest and the pain subsides.) But yesterday there was food! I never eat breakfast before I leave for work, but since yesterday was the last day for one of our employees, the staff put together a farewell continental breakfast for her. I got half a sweet roll and two cups of juice. Yesterday also happened to be the college's annual HOT DOG DAY (!), so while I don't eat beef hot dogs, I did enjoy a lunch consisting of a hot dog bun with ketchup and mustard in addition to some cookies and a soda. And then I went to TGIFriday's for dinner with my mom and my cousin, which also involved eating. Anyway, apparently my body got used to food and now it thinks it's supposed to receive nourishment several times a day. HA! I'm debating breaking open this bag of chips that I saved from HOT DOG DAY, but I don't want my stomach to get the impression that giving into its bellyaching will be a regular thing. (more...)