No, really, how does one not get a job one essentially already has? And with the same organization, at that?! I must be the biggest fucking loser on the face of the planet.

Okay, I'm finished now.

So I just found out -- I didn't get the job. Given my luck, I'm not all that surprised. However, it's still pretty disappointing, seeing as how I've basically been doing that job and more since last September, give or take a couple of months! I really feel like a failure right now -- but then, I always feel like a failure, probably because I am one -- and I don't think I'll stop feeling that way until I succeed at killing myself.

...has got to be the worst headline I've ever read in a newspaper. 🙁

Have I stepped into Bizarroworld or something?! First, I'm tiptoeing around a run-down motel in search of giant talking tentacles, one of which desires to take over the world and enslave all humanity. The other's trying to start his own rock band. Then I decided to watch a couple of GTO episodes and am treated to this unexplained ending -- people in a wedding reception start hissing and baring loads of sharp little teeth in their freakishly wide mouths. And then I decide I need to refill my glass of water, so I go down stairs to find my mother asleep and the Drew Carey Show playing on television -- except for some inexplicable reason everyone on the show is a horrible alien and the Drew Carey alien bites the arm off of that really ugly chick's alien counterpart. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?!? Next thing you know shui-mai will start mysteriously disappearing one by one...

Hey all -- hope you had a great weekend. Mine, as usual, was restful but unproductive, as I didn't get through even a third of the things that I'd hoped to do. It kinda sucks! I should be writing short stories and plays and Scary-Crayon articles, drawing, and even working on that bleeding novel of mine (or one of the other books I mean to write...), but these weeks leave me so exhausted and drained that all I want to do on the weekends is lay around and sleep. I did, however, get some work done for SC pieces, so it wasn't a total loss, and I watched a lot of GTO ("Great Teacher Onizuka") episodes. Good stuff.

Anyway, I imagine I'll feel less exhausted and have more time to do things when I'm not working this job anymore and therefore don't have to wake up at 4-5 AM and spend upwards of four hours a day riding buses. With any luck, I'll hear back about that interview today or tomorrow and can plot my next move. I'm hoping that this'll be my last full week here, since I'd be starting sometime next week if I got that local job -- but if I don't get it, I think I'll put in my resignation here anyway and get ready to make that move to NYC. I'm starting to rethink it, though -- not because I like NYC any less after my recent visit, but because I'm not sure what I'd do or if I could even find employment at all once I got there. I don't know. And I'm bloody tired -- starting to feel like going to sleep and not waking up is the best course of action after all.

Wait, starting? I always feel that way. Oyasuminasai, minna-san.