I was having an okay day before that, too. Not a fantastic day, but I did end up getting some mahi mahi free at Weis because the register wouldn't ring up the sale properly. Plus Phoenix will be on television tonight -- always a good thing. So the day wasn't shaping up to be completely miserable... but then, on the last leg of my three-mile trek back home, I saw something flying towards me! Gravity ensured that it hit my shin and not my face, but that was still pretty fucked up and I was still pretty furious.

I initially thought it was a Big Gulp, since there was enough fluid left in there to splash all over my leg and up to get my left hand and forearm all sticky, but since the cup was plastic and had a spoon straw in it I now think it was a melted Slurpee.

Anyway -- as if I hadn't gotten the message -- this is just more proof that people fucking hate me and will always go out of their way to make sure I know it. Whether the incidents involve students and administrators accusing me of all manner of nefarious deeds, book store customers treating me like shit, interviewers exhibiting uncalled-for rudeness, people driving by shouting, "Faggot!" and now people throwing fucking Slurpees at me, it seems like the human race just has to throw me a big fucking middle finger every time it seems like I might momentarily forget just how mean people can and will be where I am concerned.

Rest assured, humans, I have not forgotten. 🙁

The first sentence in the CNN political ticker report about the death of Tony Snow reads:

Former White House press secretary Tony Snow -- who once told reporters "I'm a very lucky guy" -- died at the age of 53 early Saturday after a second battle with cancer.

Why would they choose that quote, only to follow it up with something that is so decidedly unlucky? I enjoy an ironic and/or morbid crack as much as and probably even more than the next guy, but even I would curb my wicked sense of humor when writing news articles about the deaths of public figures (excluding entertainers, of course). That's just tacky.

And not one of the several that I put there, either. This dead lizard was not housed in a small jar of alcohol (or not, in the one case where the alcohol has evaporated) -- it was lying on the floor in the room where I keep most of my action figures. If it climbed on them, its death is well deserved.

I do not think I will keep this dead lizard (I only keep dead animals that were my "pets" in life), but I have placed it in a ziploc bag and left it on the porch in order to see how my mother reacts. I doubt it will be highly entertaining.

(Do the repeated references to dead animals make anyone else think of the Wayside School books?)

UPDATE: I predicted correctly -- my mother was not in the least bit fazed by the dead lizard in the ziploc bag. In fact, she had already seen (and ignored) it in the basement! She didn't even realize this was the same one... for some reason she thought I had found it outside and brought it home. Why would I do that?!? I am not a cat.

...and then Google searches for lyrics yield zero results.

oh I would like to see a dinosaur
I know they're not around here any more
but I've been shown
some great big bones
and picture books galore
oh I would like to see a dinosaur

oh I would like to feel his scaly skin
to walk around his legs and pat his shin
I'd stretch up high
and really try
to touch his face and chin
oh I would like to feel his scaly skin

oh I would like to hear a dinosaur
I bet he'd have a loud and scary roar
or he might howl
or shriek or growl
or maybe even snore
oh I would like to hear a dinosaur

I'm tempted to buy the CD and reacquaint myself with all of those zany dinosaur songs.

More on this later -- whether today or later in the week -- but I came up with this term last night and wanted to make sure I got it documented before it turned up elsewhere (at present, it registers no hits in Google). It's a combonym, so the Addled Writer should be pleased.

hillarridan (noun): a scolding, vicious, and most likely racist woman who fiercely supports Hillary Clinton's bid for the presidency of the United States.

In a sentence: Harriet Christian is an appalling hillarridan.

Thank you, thank you.