So we were just watching a bit of "The Science Bowl" on one of the local education channels. Seeing the show always brings back some fond memories for me -- I was one of the alternates for our middle school team (wow, that was like 15 years ago!), which basically meant that I got to miss classes and accompany the team to games, where the other alternates and I got to watch via closed circuit TV and eat cookies backstage -- but that's not what motivated me to post about it. No, I'm posting because of the sheer ridiculousness of the answer I just heard.

See, Mr. Z (the host; good ol' Mr. Z is still at it!) paraphrased the Alvarez hypothesis -- leaving out the relevant bit of info, of course -- and asked the contestants to note which heavenly bodies the hypothesis proposed was responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. And immediately one of the teams buzzed in and gave the following answer:

Angels.

They even repeated it.

ANGELS.

You should have seen the look on Mr. Z's face. Or on mine, for that matter, at least for all of the two nanoseconds it lasted before I collapsed into a maniacal fit of laughter.

Incidentally, we had to turn from it because the teams ring in via a bell, which caused poor Bacardi to bark and twirl like mad because he kept thinking someone was at the door.

Angels killed the dinosaurs.

I thought I'd seen it all when it came to the 419 scam e-mails, but this one just floored me:

Dear Friend,

Greetings.Andrew Anderson is my name,an American Soldier in the US Military serving in the 3rd Infantry Division,Patrols Tal Afar, in Iraq.I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $2,570,000 to the States or any safe country of your choice as far as I can be assured that it will be safe in your care until i complete my service here.

SOURCE OF MONEY:
When on Special Patrol duties on the 24Th of April earlier this year,we found $100m and 90m euros in 31 containers and this money had been hidden behind the false wall of a house searched by my unit based on prior information.You can go to this web link to read about events that took place here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm

I do not know for how long i will remain here as I have been lucky to have survived 2 suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention.If it might be of interest to you then endeavor to contact me.

Email: [email protected]
Respectfully,
Lt. Andrew Anderson

With all of the real soldiers actually dying over there as part of this moronic war, I can't believe the scammers would cross that line and actually expect to get some takers. But then again, maybe there's some ultra-patriotic idiot out there who would do anything -- even fall for such an obvious scam -- in his zeal to "support the troops."

And speaking of obvious scams, here's another message that I received tonight: (Read more...)

This morning I woke up to find this orange lightning bolt indicator on my laptop going nuts. My still half-asleep mind immediately began pondering its meaning:

Is my computer trying to summon the Flash? Does Freakazoid require my help battling Cybermen somewhere in the Internets? Did Windows download an automatic update that gives me advance thunderstorm warnings?!

Not really, of course -- it was pretty obvious that something was up with the battery -- which became even more apparent when the computer died as I went to check the connection to the adapter. So after I plugged it back in and lamented the loss of my Spider-Man and Transformers personality quiz results (I got Doc Ock and Trailbreaker, respectively), I turned the laptop back on -- whereupon Windows informed me that the battery was IRREVERSIBLY DECEASED (or something similarly distressing and in all capital letters). So yeah, my laptop battery is dead -- not that I ever used it all that much anyhow.

I'd still like to get a new one, though, if only so that I don't have this gaping hole in the bottom of the machine that oh-so-conveniently happens to include the area where one of the four rubber feet used to be and leaves the machine lightly balancing on three prongs. (Of course, I could rectify this problem by just leaving the dead battery in, but then I'd run the risk of the machine trying to eat my brAAAiNsssss. The constantly flashing thunderstorm warning was also pretty bloody annoying -- before I finally removed the blasted thing I took to covering it up with a package of chewing gum.) Unfortunately, in addition to costing $165.99, the only Dell battery available for my laptop has absolutely horrible reviews. Seriously, go look -- they're horrible. Shit, even the power adapter got horrible reviews. How do you even make a horrible power adapter? Seems like that should be a pretty straightforward product to me.

Ideally I'd buy a better third-party battery, except Dell doesn't recommend using any batteries other than Dell batteries. It doesn't necessarily mean that other batteries wouldn't work -- they probably would, and I wouldn't get one unless it mentioned my model anyway -- but it does mean that I couldn't bitch at Dell if it exploded in my face or something. Not that I'd necessarily be alive to bitch if it exploded in my face, but yeah. (Then again, if Nathan Petrelli can be at about ground zero when a WMD goes off and survive, who knows? 😛 ) There would also be the problem of the missing rubber foot, which I'm guessing only Dell batteries made for these laptop models have. There is absolutely no reason to have the goddamned rubber foot on the battery.

Dell is totally fucking with me.

And that is how I lost track of three and a half hours.

Remind me to write about the horrible TV segments that I saw tonight at some point (ABC's "Just For Laughs" is far more disturbing than funny), but in the meantime here is a humorous excerpt from tonight's #db chat:

[01:04] <Junta> Ku: so how did your dihydrogen monoxide testing go? ;P
[01:04] <Wes> oh yeah
[01:04] <Wes> CHEMISTRY
[01:05] <Junta> We must know whether or not you were successful in banning the use of dihydrogen monoxide
[01:05] <Wes> wait why would we ban that
[01:05] <Wes> we need that
[01:05] <Wes> otherwise drunk assholes who fall into rivers would live 🙁
[01:06] <Junta> Wes: Easy, we shove 'em off a bridge as an alternative
[01:06] <Wes> Junta: I thought we were talking about chemistry
[01:06] <Wes> that is PHYSICS!

Yes.

In other news, "The IT Crowd" is flipping brilliant.