SO. If you've got a half hour to kill, I invite you to head over to Scary-Crayon and check out the latest Spectare review -- a literally 27+ minute long review and commentary on Flightplan. Or, y'know, if you don't have that kind of time, you can also read the abridged written review over there. Suffice it to say that I fucking despised that film. Not in the way that I thought Serenity and Corpse Bride were kinda blah -- I mean like this was one of the worst films I've ever seen and I'd like to bitchslap everyone who had a hand in making it. That sort of thing. Head to the SC review for more.

Honestly, it's media like Flightplan that have me utterly convinced that the remainder of my life -- should I choose to live it -- will be filled with failure and misery. Not because the movie depicted some heartrending tragedy that totally sucked me in, but because of the sheer number of successful movies, television shows, books, etc. that utterly disgust me, thereby underscoring the all too apparent separation between myself and the rest of society. And since I desire to contribute to these fields -- write books, scripts, even make films and so forth -- it seems to indicate that nothing I do will be well received by anyone of note, since what I'd hope to achieve and accomplish through writing and other media is so vastly different from what the public wants. The subject matter and content of the books on the bestseller lists consistently strikes me as being not only unappealing but insulting, whereas my favorite authors are either out of print or almost unheard of. It's maddening.

I've started writing another short story, but I'm fairly certain that no fiction editor alive would think it worthy of publication or be willing to pay for it. Ja.

My connection has been royally sucking since last night, with me getting disconnected roughly every 10-20 minutes and having to reset the DSL modem and router each time to reconnect. It's getting bloody irritating. Finally, I called Verizon's tech support, only to be told (after holding for over 30 mins) that the connection seems exellent and that they don't know what the problem is. Sigh.

Saw Serenity this weekend. Lengthier review to come, but I'll briefly say that I thought it was nothing more than a routine and average space adventure film. Granted, that's not to say that it's entirely unlikable, and I might've liked it a little better if people I know hadn't been writing things like "WHAT A GREAT MOVIE!" and "I FUCKING LOVED IT!" in all caps. With such rave reviews, I was expecting something fantastic -- and instead got "eh". It looked good enough and the dialogue was fun, but the story was pretty much an amalgam of cliches and developments from far superior scifi films and television shows, to say nothing of the more nonsensical aspects. Look for a more detailed spoiler review in the near future.

And finally, a few links:

Ill Will Press -- I've got this site linked over on Scary-Crayon, and I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it over here from time to time, but the latest cartoon is the funniest offering I've seen in a while. Might even be the funniest installment to date. There's just something hilarious about squirrels with voodoo dolls and masochists taking offense at being called "masochists" even as they continue to commit masochistic acts. You have to see it. I wouldn't view the cartoon at work, though. It also has sound, being a Flash 'toon and all.

Unicef bombs the Smurfs -- Okay, so we've all seen parodies of beloved cartoon characters being bombed, raped, murdered, or committing such shocking deeds themselves, and some of the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim stuff has featured Hanna Barbera characters in adult situations -- but a legitimate cartoon featuring the Smurfs being bombed? Look at the image -- SMURFETTE IS DEAD! Simply amazing.

Smegma! -- The word "smeg" was mentioned elsewhere, so I did a few quick lookups and came across this comprehensive definition and etymology of the term from which it is derived -- "smegma" -- on Wikepedia. Not recommended for work viewing, as there are images of penises with smegma on them, but it's a pretty interesting and entertaining read, if only for the sentence that reads, "This can in turn upset the pH of the vagina." Hilarity.

All for now. Ja ne, minna-san.

Okay, since I started the Scary-Crayon blog I haven't been so quick to mention site updates over here (if I mention them at all), but as I'm particularly pleased with the first part of this latest film review I invite y'all to check Protégé de la Rose Noire, Partie Une out. It's pretty much work-safe, though there is one instance where the word "fuck" appears in large type on screen -- but seeing as how that's the part where I'm talking about the castration robot, I think it's wholly justified. I mean holy fuck, the thing castrates men. It's a Castraticon. Megatron might turn into a gun and shoot you, but this robot will cut your penis off (if you have one). Prime only turns into a truck. Anyway, go read!

I really like Jennifer Connelly in Dark City. So much, in fact, that I was inspired to sing the song her character performs when first introduced in the film at her nightclub singing gig (though the woman doing the singing is really Anita Kelsey). Anyway, go ahead and click the image -- or here -- to hear my awful singing. I took the audio quality down quite a bit to make the file smaller, but it's not like you needed to hear me in 44 KHz stereo sound!

Side note: I think dressing in drag and singing in a small Vegas club would be a pretty cool job.

Quick post before I shove off to bed. First, Scary-Crayon was updated tonight, so if that at all interests you, go have a look. I mention it here because it's a pretty serious piece -- a book review cum sociolinguistic (?) commentary -- and since it's more in the vein of something I'd write here, if you find my observations on Wesoteric to be interesting, you may find that piece to be a worthwhile read as well. And since it's on SC, if you've got comments, I invite you to share them with the class over there. (more...)