Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
August 22, 2008
Veep dreams
Category: Dreams

I had a dream that Obama sent packages to his supporters in order to inform them of his running mate. Each person received a large box, inside of which were more boxes, of various sizes, nested matryoshka style. In the smallest box at the center of the package, buried below a layer of pale blue packing peanuts, was a handwritten note containing a personalized message to the supporter. Obama named his running mate in the last sentence of the letter.

Except the notes were written on psychic paper, so each supporter saw the particular vice presidential pick he/she wanted and/or expected to see! And with all of the conflicting reports, pandemonium ensued among the media.

My subconscious is a very strange place.

-posted by Wes | 4:18 pm | Comments (5)
Defamatory dreams
Category: Dreams

Do you ever have dreams in which people from your life make you very, very angry -- and although those particular infuriating events may not have happened in waking life, the characterization is believable and accurate enough that you stay angry with those people anyway?

I've been having lots of dreams like that lately. 😐

-posted by Wes | 12:45 am | Comments (1)
August 11, 2008
Nightmare Theater
Category: Dreams

Well, that was... weird.


First, I dreamed that I was at some kind of summer camp -- log cabins, hiking and canoe activities, campfire sing-a-longs, and so forth. A whole bunch of stuff happened in the dream before this, but the horrific moment came when I was flossing my teeth in the bathroom and felt one pop out. Then its neighbor popped out. I took them out and examined them, wondering whether I should wash them and try to put them back in or just leave them out -- and one of them had a wire sticking out of the top of it, which was rather weird -- when suddenly I felt like I had some large obstruction in my mouth that had essentially locked my jaw. I struggled to move my mouth, and when I finally did... all of my teeth erupted out of it in a hail of, well, teeth.

Horrified, I opened my mouth wide and looked into the mirror to confirm that, yes, but for the two teeth in my hand, all of my choppers were in the sink and on the floor. This must be a dream, I thought, and I pinched myself. No go, but it didn't hurt -- at all -- so there was hope! And then I drew back my fist with intent to punch myself really, really hard... when suddenly all of my teeth were back. Then I woke up. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 7:40 am | Comments (4)
May 22, 2008
Another weird dream
Category: Dreams

And a long one, too. It began with me accompanying a young woman to the residence of an aging small-time crime boss. She was supposed to meet with him in private, presumably for some sort of romantic liaison, and I was supposed to keep an eye on the situation and make sure she got back okay. Anyway, I was standing outside the door of the guy's second-floor bedroom sipping from a wineglass when I heard a scream. I rushed in to find the girl bleeding from the neck and the crime boss dead with a wooden plank through his chest -- apparently the old guy had been a vampire and had tried to take a bite out of the dame. Despite her small size, she'd snapped off a hunk of a nearby dresser and dispatch him promptly.

Although I was ostensibly there to protect her, she took charge at this point. She snatched a small gun from the open dresser drawer -- I have no idea what kind of super high-tech weapon this thing was; it fired bullets that looked like cell batteries and never needed to be reloaded -- and, waving me behind her, made for the stairwell. Once there, we saw one of the crime boss's sons standing at the foot of the stairs with an uzi. He ripped loose with a hail of gunfire, and the poor girl was instantly flattened against the opposite wall, riddled with holes and bleeding profusely -- her short, blonde curls now highlighted with glistening red spatters -- and gasping her final breaths. As she died, she pressed the battery gun into my hand.

While the crime boss's son signaled for assistance, I ran back to the old man's bedroom, climbed out of a window, ran across the roof, leapt down into the grass, and dashed off into the night... and the rest of the dream consisted of me running from the crime boss's sons and daughters -- he had a lot of sons and daughters -- and dispatching them in various ambush setups. At one point I hid behind a hedge and blew them away as they hurriedly turned a blind corner; another setup found me hiding in a tree and shooting as they ran into a park clearing. Eventually only the eldest son and daughter remained, and, from my hiding spot, I overheard the son suggesting that perhaps they should just let me go. But the daughter was seething and wanted revenge, so he reluctantly agreed to continue the hunt.

I arranged my final ambush at a 24-hour grocery store, hiding behind a display and waiting for them to rush in several minutes later. But while my gun seemed to have unlimited ammo, the potency of the battery shots had begun to wane -- such that, when the sister ran in first, my multiple shots to her chest failed to kill her right away. And since she now knew where I was hiding, I had to go over to where she had fallen and make sure she was dead before her brother arrived. Just as I finished her, though, her brother appeared with his gun just a foot away from my face. He told me to try to shoot back if I could -- "just to make it interesting" -- and I whirled and fired. We each got off about five shots in the next moment...

...and when the slow-motion second was over, I was unscathed and he was slumped back against a glass door with two holes in his left shoulder and one in his forehead. Yet owing to the reduced immediacy of the bullets' effects, he was still conscious and alive, so we were able to talk a bit before he finally died. He talked about how impressed he was, offered no hard feelings, and said we'd meet again in another lifetime -- as friends -- the usual sort of thing. Then he died, and I bought a glazed honey bun and left.

Another weird dream indeed.

-posted by Wes | 5:35 pm | Comments (3)
May 18, 2008
Crocodile fears
Category: Dreams

This must be the third or fourth time in as many weeks that I've dreamed about the house being overrun by crocodiles. Quite terrifying, really. And then I woke up and turned to Wikipedia to assuage my lingering fears, only to run into an article about Gustave. Why has nobody killed this thing?!

Okay, technically Leatherhead is an alligator in this continuity, but still.

I like my monster crocodiles fictional and living in the sewers of Gotham or New York City, thanks.

-posted by Wes | 1:28 am | Comments (0)