I thought the murders of pregnant women and Cesarean thefts of fetuses only occurred in fiction! But apparently that's not the case, as the body of a pregnant woman was recently found missing the baby -- which has since been found alive in the care of (I guess) the murderer. WHO THE HELL DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!?!?! That's just... ick.

Other news items that deserve comment:

Canadian hitman admits to killing 27 — I've had this in a Firefox tab for a while now (since April, apparently) but am just now getting around to mentioning it. What amuses me about the piece is how he's described as "inconspicuous" -- the mayor of his town describes him as "an ordinary Joe, hard to identify in a crowd as someone who would commit crimes." This amuses me because, at least in the courtroom sketch, he looks exactly like the kind of person I'd expect to be a hitman. Really -- he looks just like Tom Cruise in Collateral. If you showed me a crowd and asked me to identify the hitman, I would point directly at him. Then I would duck, lest he see me and start shooting.

US father 'shoots his children' — Another article that's been tabbed in my Firefox for quite a while. What gets me here is the sheriff's comment: "This was not a tragedy. It was a rotten murder." He then adds, "This appears to be the terrible work of the biological father. If that doesn't break your heart, I don't know what does." But isn't something that breaks your heart tragic? And if so, wouldn't that make this a tragedy? Yes, it is a rotten murder, but I don't see why it can't be a tragedy as well.

Also, I am amused by the way that the BBC often puts portions of the headlines in single quotes: US father 'shoots his children.' I suppose that's their way of specifying that this is allegedly what happened, but I like to think that they're just being snarky. It certainly seems that way in other headlines, anyway -- see Earth landing for 'space cheese', Call for 'smarter' drugs policy, and Nigerian Islamist fighters 'flee'. Ah, you wacky Britons.

'Space cheese' sounds delicious.

Bacardi has discovered a box!

What's inside the box, you ask? (more...)

I don't watch "American Idol", so the name Alexis Cohen didn't ring any bells for me when I spotted it in the lede of an article about the circumstances and aftermath of her recent passing. However, after reading the full article (just one of many concerning these events) and watching the Youtube video at the end, I'm thinking that is probably not how I'd like to be remembered. And although Cohen strikes me as being a bit "off," I wonder if she would have done things differently -- or even gone on the show at all -- if she'd known that, upon her death, news articles would be referring to a "drunken 'Idol' killer" and calling her a "nutty 'Idol' contestant" in oddly lyrical headlines and featuring embedded videos of her sailor-tongued tirade.

On the other hand, she's got an entry in Wikipedia (even if it is apparently being considered for deletion). I want a Wikipedia entry, gosh darnit! Or at least one for Scary-Crayon. Perhaps I should don my crayon bandolier and strap one of my larger crayons to my back and show up at the next "Idol" audition session, eh? Perhaps I could sing an extended version of the Evil Joe song (though I think it owes much of its appeal to its brevity).

I am, of course, joking. If nothing else -- in the event of my unfortunate passing under "newsworthy" circumstances -- I wouldn't want journalists sensationalizing my death by attaching "American Idol" to my name. I mean, Cohen was at these auditions for what, two days out of her life? And yet the show's getting top billing in headlines about her death. It is true that the mention of a drunken "Idol" killer was what compelled me to read the article -- and thus learn about Alexis Cohen -- so I suppose it has had the effect of making at least one more person aware of the loss of an odd and colorful individual. Those kinds of headlines will ensure that Cohen is acknowledged and remembered by many, if only momentarily.

Is that how you'd want to be remembered?

A few nights ago, I dreamed that my laptop had come down with a strange and persistent virus. My entire system was pretty much overrun with advertisements for a shipping company -- to the point that my Windows background, all of my desktop icons, and any image on my machine became ads -- ultimately culminating in one big ad that covered the entire screen and made it impossible for me to see any of the windows behind it. Upon [i]finally[/i] managing to shut the machine down, I attempted to reboot... only to find my startup screens also replaced by ads. It was bloody frustrating, and the ads kept thwarting me at every turn. I woke up just as I successfully booted into safe mode.

And then, tonight, I dreamed that my laptop gained sentience. Nothing really happened after that point, mind you -- the computer and I just talked, and I found the whole thing both worrisome and even a little bit cool. But while the machine didn't do anything sinister, it did refer to itself as Venjix. This was one of those worrisome/cool things. Worrisome because Venjix is the Skynet of Power Rangers RPM; cool because my computer named itself after a villainous computer system from Power Rangers. Even if I weren't evil, I'd probably do something similar if I were a sentient computer.

I think I'd pick a Decepticon name, though. 😉

So... goofy new category! I can think of several older posts that would make for appropriate entries (here's one), but rather than retroactively adding them to the category I think I'll just revisit those lovely animated ladies at some point. Yay! Anyway, here's our first two-dimensional dreamboat:

Name: Kiddy Phenil
Height: 166 cm (5'5")
Weight: Unknown
Blood Type: B
Eye Color: Purple
Birthplace: Australia
Birthdate: 10/4/2005
Series: Silent Mobius

After she was fatally wounded in pursuit of a rampaging megadyne cyborg, Mega-Tokyo police officer Kiddy Phenil opted to become a cyborg herself in order to destroy the being responsible for her transformation into a sexy super-strong cybernetic hottie an undesirable freak who can never live a normal life. Of course, no cyborg lass goes unwanted in any anime for long, so several episodes into "Silent Mobius" Kiddy hooks up with the jerkiest guy she can find. See, most men are understandably intimidated by a woman who routinely punches holes in concrete walls, but Kiddy likes a man remains unafraid of her and "treats her like an equal" (read: shit) even after she brutally kicks his ass multiple times. (more...)