HELL YEAH! Final count: 50, 463 words.

And now, a quick summary of the very weird mess that is The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told: The novel starts off with child vampire blood-drinker alone in his room, recording his incredulous thoughts about the existence of vampires and, finally, for similar reasons, Santa Claus. Meanwhile, a family of werewolves sits gathered around a television, watching a Christmas special about a monster known as Santa Corpse. Eventually, we join Santa Claus on his rounds and, per a strange letter that he received, written in wet diarrhea and scrawled on a wad of used toilet paper, we follow Saint Nicholas into the sewer as he seeks the author of this note. Along the way, Kris Kringle encounters a pair of giant wharf rats clad in black leather jackets. Of course, the novel is fraught with digressions and tangents and the like, many of which contain some interesting and insightful words, but most of which are evidence of the fact that Wes has gone completely and totally batshit insane.

Thank you and goodnight.