Today, Scary-Crayon presents its first contribution to a multi-site spanning topic with... THE FIVE FUNNEST GAMES EVER???????? -- a list of five video games that I found to be exceptionally enjoyable, complete with mini reviews of each. It's a little different from the majority of SC offerings, but it's probably the only article on the web today in which a caveman sodomizes another caveman... who just happens to be married. Or at least I sure hope it is. Anyway, ENJOY!

I'm closing tonight, so I guess I should start getting ready. Ugh. Still haven't told you my horror stories from this week, but suffice it to say that there was this one bastard who actually attempted to get me in trouble with one of our managers -- as if a) managers don't know asshole customers when they encounter them, and b) I'd give a shit if I did get in trouble and lose that horrible job. I don't understand how people can be wrong, know they're wrong -- I'm pretty sure this guy knew he was wrong -- and not only fabricate a lie to make themselves look better, but stand by that lie to the point where they'll waste their time waiting for a manager to come out so that they can repeat that lie to the manager in the hopes of getting an employee fired or otherwise reprimanded in what's damned close to a minimum-wage job. Hell, I'll tell you the story, since it was stupid and won't take long. Basically, this guy came up and, after placing his books on the counter, started writing a check to pay for them. Now, if I see customers begin to write a check, I'll stop them and explain that we use an e-checking system -- I dunno if you've seen it, but basically the machine scans the check (it needn't be filled out, as the machine only reads the numbers/code at the bottom), I key in the customer's driver's license/ID number, and then the machine voids the check and prints out a pay slip for the person to sign, after which I return the voided check to the customer. So it happens electronically and, therefore, a lot more quickly, but it pretty much does the same thing that would normally happen with a check. Still, a good number of people FREAK THE FUCK OUT when I tell them about the e-checking system. I've literally had old ladies respond by badmouthing me, telling me they no longer want the merchandise, and rudely shoving it at me before storming out of the store. See, people get to thinking that they can pay with paper checks and still have a week or so to actually get the money in the account. (I mean, if you have a credit card or a check card on your person, why else would you pay with a paper check?) But with e-checking they think it comes out immediately (I think it still takes some time, given that the signed pay slips still have to go through whatever they go through) and it fucking pisses them off. But if I see them writing the check, I do tell them about it. I've must've explained the e-checking system to hundreds of people by now. It's become routine, and I'm on the ball with that shit.

This time, however, the guy was purchasing two Dick and Jane books that didn't scan, so I had to do a manual product lookup in the system in order to bring them up. And while I was doing this, I didn't see him begin writing the check. So after I finished and looked back at him -- seeing that he wished to pay with a check -- I told him about the e-checking system. After a bit of hesitation and a frustrated look on his part, he then began to insist that he had asked if it was okay for him to write a check, that I had seen him writing the check, and that I had told him that checks were perfectly acceptable -- without even mentioning the e-checking system. Dude, I've given that explanation hundreds of times without prompting -- you think I'd neglect to even mention it with so clear and defined a prompt? Not fucking likely. And "the customer is always right" my ass -- when the customer starts insisting that things happened that didn't happen, and when the customer starts insisting that I said things that I fucking didn't say, the customer is not right. The customer is dead wrong, and we have a problem. So after the customer bitched me out for a while concerning this exchange that never took place, and becoming frustrated that I refused to acknowledge that it happened (because it didn't) and grovel before him (because if paying with a check concerned him that much, he should've actually asked if he could do so or paid by other means), he says, "Well, we'll get the manager -- HOW 'BOUT THAT!" as if this was supposed to frighten me to the point where I'd submit to his will.

Of course, I promptly called for the manager, she listened and nodded while he repeated the same bullshit to her that I just related here, and then he went on his way. Nothing happened. The guy kept loudly proclaiming that he'd "wasted a check," but his purchase got paid for -- which is what he'd intended -- so there really wasn't any reason for him to be upset about it. I mean, every time you pay with a check, you "waste a check" -- the fact that he got it back bothered him, but consider that you always get the cancelled check back in the mail -- so although he didn't mention it, the issue was probably that he wanted to have more time before the money was removed from his bank account. And you know what, asshole? If that bothers you so much, put it on a credit card and take your fucking time paying it back (with interest). Assholes.

And that's just one of several fun stories from the beginning of this week -- and I'm sure I'll have more at the end of the night. I'd sure rather be playing those funnest games than dealing with these bastards. Anyway, leave a comment! Ja.