Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
May 24, 2005
Let's do the time warp again...
Category: Miscellany

This woman who looks like Renee Zellweger just walked by! There's also this fairly attractive oldish woman (maybe late 40s, early 50s) in the lobby with really pretty black and silver hair -- I bet she was really hot when she wore a younger woman's clothes. And on that note...

11 years ago...

In the process of searching in vain for an old Muppet Babies Gonzo Happy Meal toy to star in the Scary-Crayon Muppets in Oz review, I came across some old photos of myself in younger days, among which were some of the shots used in my middle school yearbook. I'd forgotten I had these, and I don't at all remember how I got them, though given the fact that some of them feature some of the girls who were thought to be the hottest in the school with me nowhere in sight, I'm thinking I must've traded something pretty awesome for them.

Anyway, the photo above is of me at a middle school dance. The girl was more/less part of our little lunchtime clique back then, though I don't recall having any classes with her. Thinking about it now (and to be honest with you, I probably picked up on it a little then), it's possible that she had a slight crush on me, given that she'd seek me out at dances and give me food at lunch and stuff. (Since I got no allowance, I used to save my lunch money -- which means that I went hungry more often than not!) But she'd previously "gone" with another member of the crew -- and not the brightest dude, either; this guy used to fail open-book true/false tests -- so asking her out would've involved more ridicule than I would've been willing to bear for her sake! Besides, I was one of her most vocal critics (which was probably indicative of a certain affection on my end, since I did think she was kinda cute, but still...) and, if I recall correctly, her parents were hella racist. But I wonder what things would've been like if I had gone out with her. She had something of a reputation for being fast, so who knows... I could've been doing construction work and living in a trailer with a wife and an eight-year-old daughter by now.

Glad I'm not, but I'd sure like to meet the Wes of that universe to compare life stories.

-posted by Wes | 12:47 am | Comments (9)
9 Comments »
  • Any girl that gives you food can't be all that bad!

  • Becky says:

    So, she gives you all that shit and you turn it around and tease her? You're such a man, Wes!

  • Wes says:

    No, of course I wasn't a man -- I was twelve years old!

    And it was good-natured teasing, mostly! Maybe the words weren't so nice (we used to call her "chubby" and "chicken legs", neither of which, as you see, was really appropriate), but at least my tone of voice was pleasant...!

    But yeah, I was kind of a jerk with the teasing and stuff. Maybe I still am, but my teasing nowadays is obviously friendly-like. 🙂

  • Josh says:

    I was an asshole in 4th grade. I picked on this one guy and I would think of myself as a saint. In 5th grade I wasn't mean, it was like the other way around. >.

  • Becky says:

    Oh yeah. Being told you're a 6.5 with eye crusties is really friendly-like. Haha. J/k. It was just about the oddest compliment I think I'd ever received, so at least I'll never forget it.

  • Wes says:

    Josh: I know what you mean! What goes around comes around...

    Becky: Actually, I gave you a 7.5 with those. 😉 And that's not friendly? Of course it is!

    But yeah, I wasn't the nicest kid in my youth. Those I tormented should take heart in the knowledge that I got mine and then some. I kinda hope someday someone from my past calls me out on one of those daytime talkshows to talk about how horrible I made her feel as a kid and gloat about how great her life is now. Then, after I come out and she insults my present appearance, I could reveal how things are going with me and make her feel like a cruel piece of shit! 😈

  • Becky says:

    My bad, Wes. I thought it was 6.5. 7.5 is better. Thanks:)

  • Wes says:

    You're welcome! Also, recall that that was a minimum score, as in, "Even with eye crusties, you'd still be a 7.5!" Which means you'd only be a couple of handkerchief dabs away from really flattering numbers. 😉

  • Heg says:

    Cool, I can see why you like tall women; You like to have something you can rest your chin on.

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