I've been pretty exhausted these last few days. Frazzled. Out of sorts. Can't take much more. I've been spending a good chunk of my time here searching the employment sections of craigslist.org and various NYC papers looking for positions in NYC. I put in for one at a local university the other day -- we'll see how that goes. But I'm suffocating in this life. I'm trapped in a box and the sides are collapsing and soon I'll be flat and there's no room for me to open my jaws. It's too much of too little and I can't bloody take much more. ANYWAY.

I haven't enjoyed the tone of voice that several folks have taken with me here on the phone in the past few days. Yesterday there was a meeting elsewhere in the school and apparently, five minutes before it was scheduled to begin, the Food Services folks still hadn't set up the continental breakfast for it. They also apparently weren't answering the phones in their offices at the time. Therefore, since our department happens to be in the same building, the woman presiding over the meeting called here. After I picked up, the woman proceeded to rudely, nastily explain the situation to me -- as if it were my fault -- and then insist that I rectify it by going over to the Food Services folks and making sure that they knew they were supposed to be setting up a breakfast table at that meeting. Now, it's not that I minded doing it -- I didn't -- but a) shouldn't she have had people in her own fucking department that she could've sent (it's not like the campus is so fucking big that one can't walk over to the next building)? and b) I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH FOOD SERVICES SO DON'T FUCKING BITCH AT ME, BITCH. Jeez.

And I mentioned before that the dean of our department is retiring, didn't I? Well they're holding a dinner in his honor tomorrow night and, in the e-mail invitation, attendants were asked to submit any amusing anecdotes they might have had concerning their interaction with the retiring dean. So they've been calling here to ask questions about the event -- I don't know why; the fucking invitation seemed pretty complete to me -- and eventually they say something that sounds like, "And what's this about antidotes?" Whereupon, naturally, I respond, "Oh, you mean the call for anecdotes? She's asking you to submit brief stories or recollections about your experiences with the dean." They reply, irritably, "I know what it means."

a) If you know what it means, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK ME ABOUT IT TO BEGIN WITH?!?!? And b) If you know what it means, you should also know how to spell it -- and if you don't, it's on the fucking invitation -- and if you know how to spell it, you should know how to pronounce it. See, there's a "C" in the word. Pronunciation of said "C' is integral to distinguish that word from a lazy pronunciation of the word "antidote". Because look -- "anedote", especially when one doesn't enunciate the first "E" in the word, sounds more like "antidote" than "anecdote". Sure, it's an honest mistake, no harm done, but don't get bitchy with me because you don't speak clearly enough to be properly understood. That goes for all of you fuckers with accents and speak English while maintaining the rhythm and intonation of your native language who get pissed off when I don't understand what you're saying, too. Okay? Thanks.

I think that's enough venting for now.