Okay, so now for the continuation of last time's more substantial post, which could also be called "Why Wes will never find a significant other," or "Why no women ever find Wes attractive." Take your pick.

Wunderbar definitely hit one of the nails on the head -- my height -- and rightly adds, "I wonder if those girls would have said you were creepy or stalking them if you were 5'10" and otherwise the same." Now, before you go jumping in and saying, "Height isn't important!" for those of you who are members of online dating services, take a moment to browse the attributes that people are seeking in a mate. I'd wager that height is important to most women out there -- and unfortunately most women would outright reject a guy who only stands 5'4".

But height is only one of the physical attributes that make me especially unattractive to women, and one that probably is as great a deterrent as my height is the color of my skin. Again, before you stop me, take a moment to browse your dating profiles. (Also, consider the fact that those of you who use dating services, as far as I know, are JDate users, which you probably wouldn't use if it weren't pretty important to you that your potential mate share your ethnic background. Give all the arguments you like that it's more than that, but being Jewish doesn't necessarily entail that one will practice Judaism or even have grown up under the influence of Jewish culture. I remember the gushing about Sarah's supposedly large-breasted cousin -- her designation as "Jewish" and the size of her hooters were enough to get a lot of the guys on TAB's comments salivating, without knowing anything substantive about her. And surprisingly, more emphasis was placed on her Jewishness than the size of her chest! Just saying.) Wunderbar points out that a lot of readers have complimented my abs and my looks, but also notes that girls likely see me as being like a kid brother. And that's what those compliments strike me as being like -- compliments one would give to a cute little kid or, more appropriately, to a dog. You may think my pal Bacardi is adorable in his frog sweater, but you haven't the slightest inkling of romantic feelings towards the little guy. After all, he's a dog! Similarly, I think that's how a lot of people unconsciously view others with different skin -- like they're members of a different species, or at least that their skin is sufficient to place them in a category other than that to which the observers belong. I think it's partly tied to stereotypes -- people perhaps exhibit less pure superficiality than we think. Go back to your dating profiles and look at the qualities people are looking for in relation to the physical attributes they find desirable. Now find a woman looking for someone who more/less matches my physical appearance and see if the corresponding personal qualities sound anything like yours truly. Or, for that matter, tell me if that person sounds like anyone I'd even want to stand in the same room with. Not counting the men who have hit on me (who've been more numerous and diverse by far than the women), I could count on one mangled hand the number of women who have found me attractive in more than the cute doggy way -- and all of them practically spat in my face when the words that came out of my mouth weren't "yo yo yo wassup baby". And I think that even when people find my personality engaging (which probably never happens, but I'm theorizing here) -- but not my looks initially, for aforementioned reasons -- they still keep me at an emotional distance because they can't reconcile my appearance with my behavior. Or maybe it has to do with the fact that whereas men in dating seem to be willing to let an attraction build over the course of several dates, if a woman doesn't feel a spark within five minutes she's done. And naturally, because my appearance cannot hope to produce such an effect on any woman who might actually find me interesting upon further association, the prospect of my ever entering into a romantic relationship is utterly absurd.

And then there's the apparent creepy vibe I give off. I don't know where it comes from -- I suspect maybe it has a little to do with my height, a little to do with my build, and a little to do with the fact that people don't quite get me because I don't behave "like I'm supposed to" -- but even people who seem to like me (in a friendly way, I mean) find me strange to the point that they'd gladly keep their distance from me and only hang out with me once or twice a year to keep up the pretense that they actually give a shit about me. I once asked a girl whom I considered to be a friend -- and who I had a slight crush on, or at least held in high regard, but with whom I never made any moves whatsoever because she had a boyfriend and all that other jazz -- what she thought of me, and bless her honest heart she basically called me the creepiest person she'd ever met while noting that she was well aware that I was harmless and that I had never actually done anything to make her feel so bloody freaked out. And get this -- she chalked it up to her "woman's intuition!" Hmmm. Perhaps that creepiness stems from my height -- which I imagine is more/less the same reason that people feel such an aversion to midgets -- or from their inability to reconcile my face with my interests. I dunno. But given my previous misadventures, that most people (or at least women) find my company unnerving is undeniable.

And then on top of all of the physical stuff is the fact that, by society's standards, I'm a loser of the highest order. I work in a bookstore. I don't have a car and, in fact, don't even have a license (which doesn't bother me much, but still). I live with my mother -- my mother, who, by the way, also thinks I'm a loser, and in fact gives the Scary-Crayon URL to her friends so they can all have a good laugh at how much of a loser I am! Recently, she and one of her pals had a good laugh at my expense, since upon browsing SC for several minutes he concluded that I am a virgin. HA HA HA! It's true, though, and I make no bones about it (bones, ha ha) nor am I ashamed of it -- I'm a 23-year-old virgin -- but that's just another thing that would have most people pointing and laughing and discounting any relationship advice that I offer. So I imagine that even if someone were to get past all of the physical things -- which has never happened and seems highly unlikely -- she'd just reject me on the grounds of my being a loser.

Okay, I'm done! One more thing, for Caren and maybe Wunderbar too -- goth girls would never go for me. Not tall enough, not pale enough, and not thin enough. Actually, with several girls I know, my build has actually been a deterrent. Maybe it goes back to the whole creepiness thing. But in the violent rapist way, not in the seductive gothic way!