Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
May 20, 2010
Stampman Begins
Category: Serious

The franchise reboots.

-posted by Wes | 3:30 am | Comments (3)
March 9, 2010
Why it sucks to be me
Category: Serious … TV, Film, & DVDs

So I happened to see a television ad for a movie last night. I don't recall the specific movie -- some comedy, obviously. The voiceover enthusiastically described it as being "the funniest movie since The Hangover!"

Immediately this struck me as sounding incredibly stupid. Wasn't The Hangover fairly recent? I was thinking that the movie had come out within the last two or three years, in which case the commercial would essentially have been saying, "This is the funniest movie in two or three years!" Even taking into account the significant number of films released each year, that just doesn't sound terribly impressive.

In reality, The Hangover was released in 2009. In June. "This is the funniest movie in nine months!" Ugh. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 6:15 pm | Comments (1)
February 9, 2010
Jack Van Impe is insaaaaaaaane
Category: Serious … TV, Film, & DVDs

I'd never heard of this guy before seeing his program on television the other night, but holy fuck is he spewing some crazy shit. Granted, it's not uniquely crazy -- he kept perseverating on the same one-world government and end-of-times Antichrist nonsense believed so fervently by the nuttier Christian sects and depicted so well in the Left Behind series (haven't read the books, but those movies are creepy) -- but still. I actually had no idea they allowed this insanity on television, let alone on regular channels.

Speaking of insanity, how about that Rexella? The whole program is pretty nuts, but this woman just batshit crazy. Look at those eyes!

Screw the book, Rexxy -- just send me some of whatever you're popping. That said, she does look damned good for being almost 80... I'm guessing those donations have allowed her to hire a pretty good plastic surgeon. Praise Jesus! (more...)

-posted by Wes | 7:38 pm | Comments (10)
September 29, 2009
This is my life.
Category: Serious

I do not know how to move forward in a world where anyone can shed fake tears and accuse me of the most heinous offenses -- purely out of spite and malice -- and others will believe the lies without question. If anyone ever says anything kind about me, I cannot believe it -- not because I think the person is necessarily lying, but because I know that it would take very little for that person to retract the statement and brand me a murderer, rapist, stalker, et cetera: the speaker need only hear that opinion from another or listen to a particular 911 recording. And because the individuals who regard me so poorly are not in short supply -- and because 911 calls are public and accessible to everyone (for a $50 fee, you can get a CD recording of my own sister howling about how I've tried to kill her multiple times and am in the process of thrashing her fatally even as she makes the call; the recording will not include her laughing and gloating about said call afterwards) -- I am convinced that even a person who sincerely thinks well of me will not hold that opinion for long. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 2:07 am | Comments Off on This is my life.
April 26, 2009
I am not a zombie
Category: Serious … Travels

If you live in or around Laurel -- especially if you spend a lot of time walking around the city -- you've probably noticed this crazy guy wearing a black jacket over a white t-shirt, baggy black jeans over black boots, and an oversized pair of headphones. Sometimes his dress varies slightly -- I think he's worn tan boots on occasion, and sometimes the jeans are navy blue rather than black -- but he's always wearing the headphones. And he's always yelling something that borders on gibberish, which is why I don't think he's entirely sane. He appears in various places in the city, but can most frequently be found on the sidewalk outside of Hooters and Red Sky.

Sometimes he is dancing. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 8:55 pm | Comments (8)
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