Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
December 14, 2009
I am... annoyed.
Category: Travels

So, first things first -- for those of you in the NYC area, I'll be in town this Saturday (that is, December 19) if you'd like to catch up. My tentative plan is to explore the shops during the day before grabbing a sushi dinner at Bamboo 52... and then from there I have no idea. My bus out of there won't leave until roughly 4 AM Sunday morning, so I will definitely be available to hang out with any of you night owls or vampires. 😛

Speaking of night owls and vampires, I actually went out to one of our local goth spots -- DC Midnight -- this past Saturday to see Xuberx play. It was a little disappointing, since I primarily went to see Liebchen perform and apparently she's no longer with the band, but it wasn't an entirely unpleasant experience. If nothing else, the Meeting Place (the bar where Midnight is held) serves great turkey burgers.

That said, I will say that I don't especially like going to Midnight -- which is probably why I go there very rarely (I was last there in May; before that was probably sometime in 2007) and generally only to see certain acts. That's not necessarily saying much, since as a rule I'm not terribly fond of social gatherings, but I have a particular issue with Midnight... or rather with certain attendees. Nearly every time I have shown up at Midnight, someone has asked me, "What are you?" (more...)

-posted by Wes | 4:29 pm | Comments (2)
September 21, 2009
Commentary! High School Reunion.
Category: Photo … Travels

Of course, the title refers to mine -- not the TV show or Romy and Michele's -- since my ten-year high school reunion was this weekend! If you're interested, all of my photographs from the event can be seen here. Upon browsing them, Stefmax commented that I have the same face in all of the photos... as if my face should somehow morph and appear different in each picture. I'm not Man-E-Faces or Catherine Weaver, darnit! 😛

My extended comments and observations from the event follow, and I've placed them under subheadings for organization and convenience's sake. I've also withheld names -- unlike I did with my five-year reunion post -- for no reason in particular. If you attended the event and find yourself mentioned, you'll probably know I'm talking about you... and if you don't, that's probably good as well! That said, I hope that you find my comments to be clever, creative, and/or amusing, but not wholly ridiculous. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 5:06 am | Comments (6)
August 7, 2009
Category: Travels

This evening, I was walking Bacardi and we happened upon a group of kids playing. We've encountered (different) children before, and usually it isn't a problem -- the kids will typically smile and/or wave and go about their business, and sometimes (though rarely) one will come over and want to pet Bacardi. These particular kids, however, were horrible. Horrible.

First, one kid approached and thrust his hand out as if to pet Bacardi, but the action -- being the opposite of "friendly" -- scared the poor fellow so that he ran around to hide behind me. Since Bacardi clearly wasn't going to allow this kid to pet him, we started walking on, at which point the kid kept running at Bacardi while swinging a tennis racket. He wasn't actually going to hit Bacardi -- I hope -- but it was clear that he wanted to upset Bacardi, who responded again by running around to hide behind me. After this began, another kid on a bike took to repeatedly riding up behind us and then swerving so as to cut off Bacardi's path. He wasn't close enough to actually hit Bacardi, but again the intent seemed to be to make Bacardi think he was in danger. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 9:35 pm | Comments (11)
Old ladies moving in bullet time
Category: Travels

Today, at Dollar Tree, I encountered the slowest old ladies ever.

I mean, I've come across some slow old people before, but damn. It was like they were moving in fucking bullet time.

Watching these women, I actually had time to wonder how they deal with it. Like, does their mental activity slow down as well -- such that they have no idea how bloody long they're taking to move just a few steps forward -- or are they fully conscious and cognizant of the fact that slugs would be outstripping them with their slimy trails? If the latter, I'm not sure how they do it! Moving that goddamned slowly and knowing it would piss me off.

On the other hand, maybe the completion of every step would be like a huge accomplishment, such that I'd want to take a moment (or eighteen million) to dance a little jig.

A diagram of the slowness!

Anyway, here's a diagram of the one time I got stuck behind one of the old ladies. As labeled, the blue dot is me, the yellow dot is a middle-aged lady who was also waiting to pass, and the grey dot is the old lady. The old lady's dot is larger not because she was (extremely) fat, but because her huge cart and insistence on remaining dead center in the aisle effectively prevented anyone from slipping past her. The green areas are shelves -- and thus represent obstacles -- and the "H" represents the traversable areas. The colored arrows indicate the intended travel paths and are matched to the corresponding players. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 7:32 pm | Comments (5)
April 26, 2009
I am not a zombie
Category: Serious … Travels

If you live in or around Laurel -- especially if you spend a lot of time walking around the city -- you've probably noticed this crazy guy wearing a black jacket over a white t-shirt, baggy black jeans over black boots, and an oversized pair of headphones. Sometimes his dress varies slightly -- I think he's worn tan boots on occasion, and sometimes the jeans are navy blue rather than black -- but he's always wearing the headphones. And he's always yelling something that borders on gibberish, which is why I don't think he's entirely sane. He appears in various places in the city, but can most frequently be found on the sidewalk outside of Hooters and Red Sky.

Sometimes he is dancing. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 8:55 pm | Comments (8)