Today, at Dollar Tree, I encountered the slowest old ladies ever.
I mean, I've come across some slow old people before, but damn. It was like they were moving in fucking bullet time.
Watching these women, I actually had time to wonder how they deal with it. Like, does their mental activity slow down as well -- such that they have no idea how bloody long they're taking to move just a few steps forward -- or are they fully conscious and cognizant of the fact that slugs would be outstripping them with their slimy trails? If the latter, I'm not sure how they do it! Moving that goddamned slowly and knowing it would piss me off.
On the other hand, maybe the completion of every step would be like a huge accomplishment, such that I'd want to take a moment (or eighteen million) to dance a little jig.
Anyway, here's a diagram of the one time I got stuck behind one of the old ladies. As labeled, the blue dot is me, the yellow dot is a middle-aged lady who was also waiting to pass, and the grey dot is the old lady. The old lady's dot is larger not because she was (extremely) fat, but because her huge cart and insistence on remaining dead center in the aisle effectively prevented anyone from slipping past her. The green areas are shelves -- and thus represent obstacles -- and the "H" represents the traversable areas. The colored arrows indicate the intended travel paths and are matched to the corresponding players. (more...)