I kinda want to draw fetish art for people.

Like, seriously (but not seriously). I have this ridiculous dream of having a booth at a comic convention where I ONLY draw fetish art commissions for people. You want a drawing of Spider-Man snapping a photo of himself while dangling upside down? Fine, but you'd better pretend that shit turns you on.

That said, I wouldn't want the pictures to actually be erotic -- I'd want to do them in my signature (lazy) style and knock them off very quickly. I don't really want to produce great art or make gobs of money (if I broke even for the table I'd be delighted); I just want to hear people's sick sick desires and delight in giving them goofy six-minute Sharpie marker drawings. You like dickgirls? Here's a stick figure with hair and eyelashes and pouty lips. And a dick. I'd simply smile, but the voices in my head would laugh and laugh and LAUGH.

Have I told you about my desire to get a cardboard sign and sell $1 haiku on street corners? If my living sitch ever goes south, I'm totally going to be the Haiku Hobo.

the Haiku Hobo
writes haiku, obviously!
And he's homeless. Duh.

...Yep.

So this artist I know posted a thing about feeling inadequate when she browses DeviantArt -- in part because other artists (some of whom are younger than she is) are so awesome (presumably more awesome than she feels she is, otherwise she wouldn't feel bad about it). I responded with some hokey-sounding pretentious (and totally sincere) bullshit that probably makes me seem like the old man that I am.

I almost never truly feel inadequate when it comes to artistic talent! I think it stems from an understanding of personal style: there are definitely people more skilled at certain techniques than I am, but I've never seen anyone who draws (or writes, as is more often the case) quite like I do. So I certainly look forward to improving my own skills, and I'm eager to learn from other people, but I don't compare myself to other people because they're not me. No matter how good those other people are, they'll never be me.

Like I said, hokey-sounding pretentious bullshit -- but I really do never feel inferior when I browse the work of others. On DeviantArt, that's largely because I feel that drawing isn't my artistic strength. That's not to say that I think I'm completely without skill, and I often feel that much more skilled artists are less suited to certain artistic undertakings than I am (I feel like I do a really good job of drawing specific people, even though I don't even draw people with noses and/or ears). But even when it comes to writing, I'm never intimidated or humbled when I read other people's stuff. (more...)

Had Turtles Forever featured this unholy alliance, I think the outcome would have been very different! I need to retake this picture with Metal Mutants Shredder, though... that little purple fiend definitely deserves to be included in the Shredder mashup.

I may have to expand these into a full poem or song someday...

Count down from ten, but stop at three
I'll wait for you in the sea
with sharks and shrimp alongside me
and drowned doves in a plastic tree

or

and treasure chests that need no key

Hmmm.

Bobbi Jane
by Wes

I once dated a Bobbi Jane who was sexy as hell
I once dated a Bobbi Jane who was ugly as well
Alas, it was the ugly Bobbi Jane whom I did wed
I shout the sexy Bobbi Jane's name when we are in bed.