So I finally got my holiday cards sent out yesterday -- obviously they will be New Year's Day cards, since they probably won't arrive by anyone's religious (or not) December holidays of choice. They may not even arrive by then, and I'm almost sure the package I sent won't, but ah well.
What struck me most about this year's holiday sending of cardboard cheer was how mechanical it felt. The first year I really sent Christmas to others, I made a whole big production out of it. It may not seem intuitive given my general dislike of holidays (Halloween being the obvious exception) and growing distaste for religious affairs, but I really do like Christmas. While people pay lip service to Jesus Christ and the virgin birth and all that manger crap, Christmas is really about Santa Claus and buying toys and sending presents to others to spread cheer and show your appreciation for them. And unless you're a totally stingy bastard who never receives presents from anyone and/or completely despises toys -- which I am not, at least with respect to the receipt of presents and the hatred of toys -- it's hard not to derive some warmth from that!
So my first year with some "disposable" income -- and aided by the free shipping and low price guarantees of DeepDiscountDVD (now DeepDiscount.com) -- I sent out a ton of presents. Almost everyone with whom I'd engaged in extended e-mail/blog communication got a DVD. I think I averaged something like $8 per DVD and sent out over $200 worth of stuff. And it wasn't like I chose the DVDs at random, either -- I spent quite a bit of time poring over the lists of discounted DVDs in order to select titles that, based on blog posts, photos, offhand comments, and so forth, the recipients might find interesting, amusing, or both.
Given the responses I received, I think I totally creeped out and/or confused most of those recipients. In fact, following that holiday round of gift giving, many of them all but ceased their communications with me. I think I should have anticipated this -- no matter what my well-meaning efforts entail, in 98.7% of instances my actions will seriously unnerve the intended beneficiaries -- but my inclination and desire to give during the holiday season overruled my understanding of my unique effect on people. 😛
Anyway, the following year, I decided to dial down my holiday operation. Instead of sending gifts to everyone, I sent gifts to a few people -- namely the ones who had sent me gifts the previous year, since I was confident that our exchanges hadn't left them wetting their beds out of fear and loathing -- and instead included a packet of hot chocolate with cards that I sent to the remaining people who had continued to communicate with me that year. I think that went over a little better than actual gifts, but I'm never too sure about how things like that are perceived with me.
So last year (I think), I went with just cards -- but even then I put in quite a bit of effort trying to write personalized and sometimes lengthy messages to each person. Some cards included crappy drawings that referenced specific events; almost all of them included superhero or Disney-themed stickers. Again, I'm not entirely sure how that went over, but I think it was probably my most successful holiday operation. Of course, by "successful" I mean "less likely to inspire recipients to promptly burn my kindly offerings and hire Catholic priests to exorcise their mailboxes and/or porches."
But with the Stampman's continued reign of terror -- yesterday he left a phone message in which he uttered things like "love you, sweetheart" and actually made kissy noises -- I have become especially hesitant to draw goofy pictures or include stickers in cards. I'd hate to swing by the page of a fellow blogger only to find scans of my cards and commentary about what a total freakazoid I must be for including Batman and Little Mermaid stickers in holiday cards! It's probably bad enough that I send cards with Disney princesses on them. So this year, while I did write brief messages that more/less had the individual recipients in mind, I stuck with simple cards minus any of my previous "extras."
And I was disappointed by how mechanical the whole thing felt. Sending gifts and cards was fun for me in previous years, but this year it largely felt like a chore -- which probably has something to do with why I put it off until well beyond the last minute. With the exception of addresses taken from recent pieces of mail, I worked from a list of addresses and printed labels. Whereas in previous years I would spread everything out on the dining room table like a holiday workshop of sorts, this year I handled the cards at my computer desk in assembly line fashion.
Due to my incomplete/outdated records and the lateness of the sending, I even neglected to send cards to people whom I really do want to wish happy holidays -- so let me take this opportunity to extend those well wishes to De, Susan, Jenny, Greg, Lori, Ray, Paul, Megz, Alex, past and present members of #db, and anyone else who's received cards from me in the past and/or reads this blog and/or e-mails me on a regular basis, because I probably meant to send you a card as well. (And even if this doesn't include you -- seriously -- I wish you all the best for the coming holidays and 2009.) Given the outdated nature of my list, I have no doubt that I'll get at least one card back because the address is incorrect.
Anyway, the experience has really soured me on the whole holiday card thing. I admit to being disgusted in years past by how unabashedly mechanical my mother's holiday card process has seemed, yet this year -- although, unlike the apparent nonchalance with which my mother treats the gesture, I do sincerely wish everyone on my lists and in my circles well -- I feel as if I've done the same thing. And given that the sincerity of a holiday wish is no more apparent in a snail-mailed piece of folded cardboard than an e-card (right?), I wonder if it might just be better to gather up all of the necessary e-mail addresses (which, as far as I know, remain current) and truly automate the process next year.
I think a great deal of my disappointment is also connected to the fact that my perceived creepiness has begun to ruin even the holidays for me, but I suppose I should have expected that as well. Still, at least I can still donate to Toys For Tots without seeming (overwhelmingly) creepy! The Donatello Christmas Tradition continues.