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Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...

November 18, 2005

To the women out there (or men who feel inclined to reply in a similar capacity, though I suspect that women the recipients of the more injurious and limiting stereotypes) -- I imagine you must deal with some similar issues, given the more or less inherent assumptions that people make about you on the basis of your sex. How do you endure it? And do you think that, in spite of these perhaps inevitable presumptions, it is possible for anyone to judge you as an individual, without considering it -- or is "being a woman" so integral to your self-perception that such appreciation of your (independent) individuality is unnecessary? At any rate, I am deeply saddened by the fact that a few physical features -- here, breasts and genitalia -- seem to make all the difference regarding how people treat one another.

I have been reading about suicide and methods and came across this article as a "disorder" associated with suicidal thought. I found the latter sections of the piece to be especially interesting.

-posted by Wes | 4:29 pm | Comments (7)

7 Comments »

CL says:

November 18, 2005 at 5:02 pm

Yes, everyone experiences prejudice and stereotypes. There are lots of jerks in the world. There are also plenty of nice people who would never use those stereotypes (to the best of their knowledge). Unfortunately, sometimes it just takes one bad or recent experience to make your faith in humanity and your hope in things changing plummet. But eventually, the good people always prevail.

Don't let the world's jerks wear you down. Whatever your perceived inadequacies or things holding you back, you also have a lot of talents and attributes that you can use to your advantage. You just have to figure out how to milk them.

And I am aware that there are probably things going on in your head or in your life that you don't talk about and don't admit to on here. It's a lot more than not having the right job, I'd guess. Whatever those things are that make you uncomfortable, realize that you're not the first or the last, and there may be people in similar situations who have found their comfort zone. Look toward those people.

The transgender thing is a good example. I just read a piece (it's on the internet; google "Kaden") about an 11-year-old girl who wants to be a boy. She was trying to kill herself and stuff until they finally let her be a boy. She even looks like one now. It's strange, but that's who she was inside.

I don't want to blow sunshine up your butt, but you can do a lot of great things and be truly loved in the world. I'm not sure you even are aware of the power you have. There are ways to get what you want...think about it.

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CL says:

November 18, 2005 at 5:04 pm

To respond to your entry more specifically, yes, there are things about my gender role and perceived responsibilities that can hold me back at times. I am, for instance, disinclined to crack jokes on a date, as it will make me seem less attractive. ANd I'm sure I am perceived differently as a woman than I'd be if I were a man with the same personality. So what to do? I'm not sure, but as I said, you have to find your comfort zone, and take advantage of the good points.

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Mickey says:

November 19, 2005 at 8:02 pm

I don't let it get to me too much unless it has to do with explaining to the mechanic what I think may be wrong with my car. Then I find myself very sensitive to the perception I don't know what's going on under the hood of my beer can and in all honesty, I don't. But neither does my dad and I've never seen the mechanic get that glazed over look when speaking to him about it. However, just because I don't let these pre-conceived notions get to me doesn't mean I don't run into them every day. If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me if I have kids, then gasp when they learn I don't want them, I'd be rich. The same thing goes for my sexual orientation. Because I am a woman, I must want to marry a man someday, right? Wrong. If I found the right woman, I'd want to marry her. As for someone seeing past my gender and seeing the individual underneath the X chromosomes, it's been my experience that most people with whom I interact do come to see it, put aside the obvious and recognize I'm more than just my gender.

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Paul says:

November 21, 2005 at 4:01 pm

Check out this pic Wes,

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Paul says:

November 21, 2005 at 4:01 pm

Bleh,

http://img127.imageshack.us/im.....ctt0im.gif

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Becky says:

November 22, 2005 at 2:41 am

Honestly, I don't think it's possible for any of us to meet a new person without forming some type of preconceived notion based on his/her appearance -- even if we're open-minded enough to ignore it; it still comes up. It just has to do with our own experiences, stereotypes and even what we see in the media. On the flip side, these types of things also work to our advantage when it comes to raising red flags for the types of individuals that we should leery of and perhaps avoid all-together.

I try to get by it by just talking to the person and hopefully my personality will come through and set myself apart.

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Naomi says:

December 2, 2005 at 3:59 pm

I built my first computer (the first one I've had). When I'm in the computer store I always get the guy who is trying to explain things to me in a way he thinks is appropriate. Sometimes I have to correct the employee and they don't generally like that. I think people still associate femininity with June Cleaver.

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