Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
May 13, 2019
Archie fights a mobster because reasons

Okay y'all -- I have a Riverdale clip for you. It's not from the episode I'd currently show to anyone to give them a good understanding of the best and worst of what Season 3 has to offer (that'd be S03E19), but you need to watch it.

Some background: Hiram Lodge (Veronica's pops) is poised to buy the town of Riverdale and install his own government, etc. -- because apparently that's a thing that can happen in the Riverdale universe??? -- and Archie is determined to not let that happen, because Hiram Lodge is pretty doggoned evil. But Archie's just a punk high school kid, so what can he do? Answer: he can roll into the local steam room where Lodge is chilling with his "business" associates and challenge Lodge to a winner-takes-Riverdale boxing match. And of course Lodge can't back down, because refusing a punk kid's laughable challenge to a public fighting exhibition would somehow make him look weak.

So here's the thing: Archie's been on a boxing kick lately. (Unlike the other Riverdale high kids, who in the midst of everything else going on managed to universally score "near-perfect" SAT marks and are actively picking out colleges, Archie's determined to start a pro boxing career.) He's had like three fights (not counting the fights he had when he was part of an underground boxing ring when he was imprisoned in juvie for a murder the very same Hiram Lodge pinned on him) and won maybe one of them? But this is a thing he can do, and he's confident as hell, so challenging people to boxing matches is how he solves problems these days. And Hiram Lodge has a couple decades on Archie, and we imagine he hasn't boxed in a while, and also he recently got shot (Archie saved him from getting killed while in hospital, because Archie just couldn't let that happen for no good reason whatsoever), so it seems like a good plan?

EXCEPT HIRAM LODGE IS AN ACTUAL MOBSTER. Like not even a grunt; Lodge is a freaking mob boss. Admittedly I don't know that real mobsters beat people to death like they do in the movies, so maybe it'd make sense for Archie to want to fight a dude like that in real life... except Archie knows that Lodge has had multiple people killed and been responsible for all manner of dastardly doings on this show. Why fight this dude??? I don't know. (I mean, there's the whole thing with keeping him busy so the feds know where to find him and arrest him, but that was basically Veronica's counter-plan to ensure her pops wouldn't completely annihilate Archie and actually succeed with his plan to buy Riverdale.)

Anyway, Archie fights Hiram Lodge and it goes like this. Also Veronica sings a song, because Riverdale will never miss an opportunity to make a music video out of pivotal conflicts. Enjoy.

-posted by Wes | 3:19 pm | Comments (1)
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