Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
February 9, 2004
100% true stupid.
Category: Miscellany

Somehow I ended up staying up all night and doing absolutely nothing. But I did turn on part of Maury...anyone wanna guess what it was about? 😛 Today they put a twist on it, though -- there was one woman who literally had to have 20+ men tested to find her "baby daddy". And you know what? I'm pretty sure they didn't find him.

Yep, go ahead and say it with me. "Bloody hell."

Quick post before I hit the hay and disappear for a while, since I'm going to write at least another couple of pages of that story before I do another blog post. I randomly clicked one of the blogs that shows up in the "most recently published blogs" section and came up with a blog that had one of those stupid lists with a header that read, "Think about this... You may not realize it, but it's 100% true." And since it bloody isn't, I'm gonna go through the list and briefly comment on the error of it. Ready? Let's go.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

A) You don't have to love someone to be willing to die for him/her. You don't even have to know someone to be willing to die for him/her. And how can you love someone -- let alone love that person so much... -- whom you don't even know? B) There aren't even two people in the world who love me anyway, so wrong again. NEXT!

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

I like the way the qualifier's written into this one: "At least 15 people in this world love you in some way." Arguably, someone with irritable bowels who loves taking shits in your backyard loves you in some way. So this one's probably true, but it's not the least bit comforting. NEXT!

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

Wrong. NEXT!

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

I find smiles from people I don't like to be extremely insulting and even disturbing, because generally they don't like me either and that smile probably means that they're picturing me suffering horribly and are probably grinning because they've already set a plan in motion to see their fantasy realized. NEXT!

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

I sincerely doubt that, but if it's true then that person must have some really fucked up dreams. NEXT!

6. You mean the world to someone.

Bullshit. NEXT!

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

Again, with the qualifier: "If not for you, someone may not be living." But then we could also say: "If it weren't for you, someone may be living." Hear that? You may have caused the death of someone simply by existing. And you know, it's entirely possible -- some poor fucker may have been painfully crushed to death at the factory where they make those little tins that house the cashews you like so much -- and maybe they wouldn't have been making them if you hadn't been born. Like the butterfly effect or something. Not so comforting now, is it? NEXT!

8. You are special and unique.

I'll buy that one, but if it's supposed to be 100% true for everyone, then everyone is special and unique. Suddenly being special and unique doesn't seem so special and unique anymore, does it? NEXT!

9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.

If I don't know the person exists, there's a good chance that the person doesn't know that I exist -- or at least that the person doesn't know me very well, given that the person would probably have to have spoken with me for that, but that hasn't happened since I don't even know that the person exists. And how can you love someone you barely know? NEXT!

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

Hey, it's great to know that even in the event that I hang myself -- for some would call suicide "the biggest mistake ever" -- something good will come from it. WHERE'S MAH NOOSE??!?!? NEXT!

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

Does it make sense to say that a spherical object has a front or a back? But in any case, I'm pretty sure that there are more than a few legitimate wisdoms that advise people to do just that -- turn their backs on the world -- and turn their minds and eyes to the heavens. Also, there's no inconsistency with the world turning its back on you (if the world even has a back) and you turning your back on the world. So this one's just dumb all around. NEXT!

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

This one's probably 100% true because it probably covers all outcomes with its "probably"s and "sooner or later". Probably, probably, probably. NEXT!

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

Those last three aren't even true/false statements, but advice. As such, they can't be 100% true. Nonetheless, let's comment. 13 is problematic because a) maybe those rude remarks have some truth to them, despite their tone, and deserve to be examined further, and b) some rude comments -- even if they have no positive/constructive merit -- should not be forgotten, because if one forgets them, and what it's like to hear them, one may very well forget to avoid speaking similarly to others. And so forth. 14 is problematic because as much as I like truth, sometimes it's best for all parties concerned that people hold their tongues. For example, if you've got pedophilic inclinations and you happen to see a sexy four-year-old at the mall, you most certainly should not approach that four-year-old and tell the kid how you feel about him/her. It may make you feel better -- before you're arrested, anyway -- but you may very well end up scarring the poor kid for life, or at least creeping the kid out for years to come.

I've got no problems with 15, though -- but I do think that most of the people going around telling people that they're "great friends" are in error, because they use the word "friend" when they should be using "acquaintance", or some other word that doesn't mean quite as much as the former. Or, even if they do mean it as it should be meant, they're probably still in error, because the person likely isn't really that great.

100% true stupid.

I should totally throw together some images and repost this as a SC feature of sorts. 🙂

-posted by Wes | 1:30 pm | Comments (0)
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