So I said to my highly attractive co-worker, "Yeah, I think I'd like to be cremated too. I don't know about having my ashes spread over green fields and the ocean and whatnot, though. I think I'd rather be kept in an urn or something, but with a curse put on it so that I could return if certain conditions were fulfilled. For instance: If it snowed on two dragonflies mating in a bush, I could come back and do, uh, nasty things to people."

Liberate me ex inferis!

I presently have the urge to cut myself to ribbons, get drunk, smash up a bunch of glass and shit, and shave off my hair and eyebrows. And then pass out. Someone please rescue me from my life. Thanks.

Dusty Plastic HELL: Hot Flash #15 is up! Take that, "Alias" fans! ;P

Given the current state of my life, I'm leaning towards mylifesucks.com or whygodwhydoyouhateme.com for the personal domain name. Actually, I'm surprised nobody's taken that first one. Maybe they were saving it for me? Because my life really does suck. Fucking hell. (more...)