I have watched a lot of movies during the past couple of weeks! Here are my reviews, in an average of five sentences or less. If you want lengthy plot summaries and synopses, you can just pop over to the IMDb links and check 'em out there!

City of Rott: Neat animation, but the film is basically a seven-minute Flash movie that drags on for 11 times as long, making it a really repetitive and boring and frustrating movie -- especially since the few decent ideas in the movie are wasted. Full review available on Scary-Crayon.

Average thus far: 2 sentences per review. (2/1)

Queen of the Damned: As I watched this movie on DVD, I said aloud to myself, "Man, this sure isn't as good as Interview With the Vampire!" Then I burst out laughing at the understatement -- this is nowhere near as good as Interview. In fact, it is fucking terrible... which I already knew because it is one of two movies (the other being Willard) that I actually made the trek to Milford to see alone during my undergrad years. So why'd I buy it? Well, it's like the quintessential bad vampire movie -- it's like a parody of bad campy low budget vampire movies, except worse because it actually takes itself somewhat seriously and had a budget and name stars and popular bands on its soundtrack (et cetera). And it's based on the writings of one of the greatest writers of vampire fiction ever!

To be fair, though, Anne Rice's Queen of the Damned novel was waaaay worse. I hated that book.

Average thus far: 5 sentences per review. (10/2)

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: You know, if I had seen this movie when I was 8 or 9, I probably would've thought it was the perfect adventure film -- it would've been like my Raiders of the Lost Ark. As it is, I thought it was kinda stylish and cool, but otherwise fairly shallow.

Average thus far: 4 sentences per review. (12/3)

The American Astronaut (Thanks, Ossabelle! :)): This was a neat little indie sci-fi flick with some quirky set pieces and cool musical numbers. Ultimately I think it suffers from a shallow plot and a lackluster antagonist, but that wouldn't stop me from recommending it to folks in the mood for, well, a neat little indie sci-fi flick with some quirky set pieces and cool musical numbers! 😉

Average thus far: 3.5 sentences per review. (14/4)

The Ring: I'm not sure whether the Japanese version was better or not -- somehow I'm thinking that it suffered from the same flaws that plague this one -- but this movie was fucking dumb and I have no idea how it has a 7+ rating over at IMDb. Evil videotapes and haunting telephone calls and pale little girls with too goddamned much hair (not to mention suicidal horses) are stupid, not scary.

Average thus far: 3.2 sentences per review. (16/5)

Flight of the Navigator (Thanks, Molly! :)): This is definitely one of the best family films I've ever seen -- a cute and thoroughly enjoyable (and oddly touching) film about a little boy who just wants to go home and befriends an alien ship in the process. I think the movie would've been a little better if the ship hadn't lost its mind and turned into Pee-wee Herman (seriously) after scanning the boy's brain, but it was still very good stuff.

Average thus far: 3 sentences per review. (18/6)

Monster: Okay, I'll admit it -- this tragic love story had me getting all teary-eyed at the end. Excellent performances (though I'm not sure I'd call any of them Oscar-worthy) and a poignant story rendered all the more heartbreaking because of its factual basis earn Monster a very high recommendation from me. Also, Christina Ricci has never been cuter.

Final average: 3 sentences per review -- w00t! (21/7)

All for now, then -- ja ne, minna-san. 🙂