the Jax says:

Dear Wes, that is exactly how I felt until about a year ago, when everything fell into place and the great shadow passed from my life. The turning point for me was getting a new job, which is really great in itself but also gave me the confidence to change my living situation, begin my first functional romance, and take that last class for my degree. You have told tales of feeling trapped, mostly by your horrid family, but also in not getting the opportunity to apply your creative skills for pay.
I, like many of your readers, was excited when you took on NY, but of course striking out on one's own is quite difficult without a good job or rich parents. I encourage you to keep applying to publishing houses and magazines, even in fields you aren't as passionate about. There is a place for you!