Something really strange and sad happened on Friday that I want to write about shortly, but in the meantime I thought I'd note that part 3 of The Absolute Strangest Christmas Story Ever Told is up on Scary-Crayon. Here's my favorite excerpt:

Be careful down there! I hear that there are ill-tempered spiders in the darkness... black, richly furred creatures as big as cats and that scurry about heavily on legs as thick as the poles of street signs, which they never have cause to obey because there are no roads, paved or unpaved, that run through the lowermost sections of old library buildings. The eyes of these fearsome spiders glow red with menace and bloodlust, but I hear that, if you bring them jack-o-lantern shaped pails filled to the brim with sugar, they will cease their demonic machinations long enough to allow you to pet them (I hear their fur, though evil, as it grows from their fat, vicious arachnid bodies, is quite soft and pleasing to the touch). Then they will hiss and rip your limbs off. So again, I warn you -- be careful! Bring lots of cloth bandages and a cell phone, for you'll have to call someone by pressing the keys with your tongue after the spiders thoroughly feasted on your severed appendages. Having a friend with a wheelbarrow on the speed dial wouldn't hurt -- which is good, because you'll be in enough pain as it is.

I've also been pretty into paper crafts lately following my ongoing Dalek-making project, so here's a semi-neat one I came across involving an optical illusion dragon. I made two. The reality doesn't fool me at all (though it is a cool model), but the interesting thing is that when I filmed it with my digicam, the illusion totally works in the video. But then, I can't see magic eye puzzles either. Note that while this page attempts to provide an explanation -- not for this particular problem, but for Spy Kids 3D and 3D-type stuff in general -- that the illusion works when viewed by the camera's monocular lense seems to debunk it. It's also worth noting that the illusion failed for me even when I wore my glasses.

Alrighty then. Ja ne!

I'm still very much in the grip of Dalek-mania -- printouts of my plans confirms that the Dalek bumps on the blueprints are exactly the same size as brass fasteners, which should make for even cooler faux Daleks -- but given the debate raging on at TAB's page concerning Superman and Spider-Man (which is better?), I figured I'd repost my comments on the matter here just so I can have them documented amidst my other online writings. First, however, a few more Dalek links...

Dalek cupcakes and Dalek cakes. Seriously.

Daleks featured in a pornographic film -- one that I'm desperately trying to find for download, though obviously more for the presence of the Daleks than the racier bits. Check out a few screencaps from the movie here (warning: NSFW!). Dalek plunger appendages are the perfect shape for breast groping, don't you think?

Anyway, there's nothing new regarding the remarks below if you've already read them at TAB's, but one of the major points of the argument (and probably the only remotely interesting thing about Superman) is that whereas Spider-Man et all are "truly" their secret identities, Superman is "truly" Superman. That is, whereas other characters don masks to become superheroes, Superman dons his mask in order to become more normal. I believe a similar sentiment was echoed in one of the Kill Bill volumes. I argued that this is actually not the case -- see below -- but upon thinking more about it I think the difference in opinion may have to do with the different versions of Superman that has been presented to different generations. For example, the bumbling Clark Kent of the earlier media was indeed an act to mask Superman's true self, but the Clark Kent that I'm familiar with from "Lois & Clark" and the Superman animated series is a capable, relaxed guy: Clark simply being himself without having to take to the skies and bat away descending meteors. More on that can be found here, if anyone's interested in Superman's identity.

And now, the comments: (more...)

I know, I know -- enough with the Daleks, right? WELL, I happened to find this link -- The Ultimate Dalek Factory -- yesterday evening and just about lost my mind. A BONA-FIDE PATTERN FOR CONSTRUCTING A HOMEMADE DALEK!!! Perfect. I haven't made one yet, though, since the pattern was kind of crude-looking and needed a bit of fixing up IMHO... so after spending hours and hours and hours and hours with my nose several millimeters away from the LCD screen, I ended up with this -- note that I've mirrored it so that the plans can be glued back to back, such that one ends up with a "pure" surface without losing the necessary information for putting the blasted thing together. You will note from the filename, by the way, that this set of plans has been designated "9b", suggesting (rightly, I might add) that I have made a whole bunch of sets of plans for Daleks with different color schemes. I haven't actually constructed any of them yet -- at some point this week I'm thinking I'll go buy some of that glossy photo paper for the occasion, though I may try making a test one beforehand to see how it goes. In the meantime, you're welcome to try your hand at this standard one. 🙂

Ultimately, however, I think the best homemade Dalek will result from a combination of this and previous methods. A la my second homemade Dalek -- at least for certain color schemes -- brass fasteners (or brass fasteners colored black with a sharpie) can be used for the Dalek bumps on the body. The limbs and eyestalk should be made of something less flat in order to preserve the more 3D qualities of the model. (As you can tell, I'm quite fond of using screws for the eyestalk.) Hey, speaking of 3D Daleks, check out these Lego designs.

Yes, I am totally in the grip of the Daleks' power at the moment. And why shouldn't I be? These things are badass! There should be Dalek-flavored ice cream.

I bet it would taste like pistachio.

...or is she goth? I'm not entirely sure these days, and the abundance of contradictory answers floating around on the Internet isn't exactly helping me to resolve the issue. (This link was kinda funny, though. Also, the post takes its title from Hope Is Emo. Amusing.) At any rate, I love it when girls tuck their hair behind their ears. The skunk top and purple eyeshadow slash lipstick combo don't hurt either. :9~~~

And I watched a rather fantastic horror movie starring one of the great genre actors on Friday night. Then, last night, I watched a really terrible one with a girl obviously cast for her looks. One was a classic 1970s horror film that is getting a 2006 remake, the other was the 2006 remake of a classic 1970s horror film. Any guesses which was the better film? (Bonus points if you can guess the actual titles.) More on the lesser of the two later.

John Harvey Kellogg was an antisexualist...

...and yet the Corn Flakes mascot is a cock. Hilarious!