But I do remember dreaming about a commercial for a play tent/sleeping bag for little girls. Apparently it utilized some new 3D immersive hologram technology, such that girls inside the tent would actually see things as if they were swimming underwater. Since it was a licensed product based on the mer-sisters of a cartoon (I think another thing I wanted to write about was the cartoon itself, but I don't remember much about it), the visuals would also entail the little girls looking down at themselves and seeing themselves transformed: they would have the lower body of whichever of the sisters they chose. One was more along the lines of a traditional mermaid, though rather than having scales she had the smooth rear half of a dolphin; another had the tail and legs of a lobster; and the last had the lengthy body and numerous legs of a centipede. And I thought this thing was awesome and I wanted it.

And suddenly I was at a press conference that preceded the product launch, where I was asking a bunch of questions about it. Eventually the spokeswoman, clearly annoyed and sensing that I wanted the thing for myself rather than a daughter or niece, flatly told me that the product was not designed to accommodate adults. To which I asked how tall a person had to be before she (he) would no longer fit in the tent. And since the tent could house girls 5'10" and shorter, I remained confident that I would totally be able to explore the depths of a cartoon sea as a blond mer-lobster thing.

Also, I've remembered something else! In addition to that other cartoon, there was another cartoon about these kids who, after having been friends since birth, started dating (though they were like 12 and it was a cartoon, so their dating was fairly innocent). The boy appeared to be mixed, and the girl was Asian, and their relationship seemed to be fine. And then he fell asleep and dreamed that they were grown up and married with kids -- and that the kids, being part Asian, were math whizzes. But since he wasn't, he struggled to help them with their advanced math homework, and apparently they got really mad at him and then the wife got really mad at him and the marriage totally collapsed and his life was ruined. And then he woke up and promptly stopped dating the girl -- apparently she'd had a similar dream and realized their relationship "could never work" -- though they decided they should remain friends.

And as I watched this, I thought, "What the hell? They're KIDS -- why are they even concerned about what will happen when they're grown and married? Also, stereotype much? This show is terrible and the people who write it should be stabbed."

And then I woke up and realized the writers live somewhere in my subconscious, and I shook my head and thought, "WHAT THE HELL, WES?"

What the hell indeed.

I still want that awesome mer-sister 3D immersive aquatic experience sleeping tent, though.

Why I like "Doctor Who":

The show's brilliant premise (it's about a dude who travels in a craft that can go anywhere in space and time) gives it basically unlimited potential and versatility. It's also fascinating how the show's various eras tend to reflect the times in which they were made, though sadly it's currently in the "derivative scifi action show" phase that I'm not especially enjoying. Still, I keep watching because I'm very invested in the universe, and because the premise means that standout episodes or a complete 180 in terms of the show's quality is entirely possible.

(And I didn't mention it in the SC tumblr, but also because Daleks are awesome and those companions are mostly right foxy and THE CLASSIC TV DOCTORS RULE. Except Six. He was pretty terrible.)

Why I like "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles":

Terminator 1 and T2 are films I enjoy very much (I didn't see I as a kid, but loved T2 -- and my old Kenner Arnold fig was one of my favorite childhood playthings), but T3 and Salvation (which admittedly came out while TSCC was already running, but still) were comparatively weak and didn't do much for me. So I love that TSCC essentially acknowledged where the story went wrong -- and that Sarah Connor was one of the most, if not THE most, compelling characters in the franchise -- and revisited the story before it started sucking. (I also love how they did it: they had the characters literally time-jump over the events of the third film.) It's a very good show, too, and ponders many of the tangential questions one might have asked and ideas one might have had while viewing the films or thinking about the premise in general. Among other things, terminators are shown to have (slightly) different personalities and missions beyond simple assassinations; the show suggests that characters can travel back from different future timelines; and even, owing to the terminators' role as thinking machines with the ability to solve problems and make decisions, the suggestion that some terminators might voluntarily choose to side with humanity, or at least to oppose Skynet. Even terminators who remain committed to Skynet are shown to oppose it at times, if doing so will increase their chances of completing their mission. It's very interesting.

And it doesn't hurt that Lena Headey is gorgeous.

IT IS INSANE. And also kinda full of shit. I mean, Mel probably did do a lot of that stuff -- while he denies the truth of "the great majority of the facts as well as the statements and actions attributed to [him]" in his response to Eszterhas, those actions would be in keeping with Mel's personality as demonstrated in the past. But it just seems like bullshit that Eszterhas wrote this as a private communication to Mel with no intention of having it read by outside sources.

Why would Eszterhas write someone a nine-page letter telling him what a terrible person he is? Why include so much descriptive detail? It doesn't serve any purpose for the intended audience (insofar as we believe that Mel alone was the intended audience), since Mel knows what his home looks like and was present during the alleged freakouts. (I guess one could include those details if one believed the person was too out of it to remember the events -- like if an acquaintance tried to run you over with his car during a drunken rage, but when sober needed to be told why you were staying the heck away from him from that point forward -- but Eszterhas never suggests this explicitly or otherwise.) The description of the photograph that supposedly sent Mel into a rage -- "[y]ou looked old, grey, and balding in the photograph, no longer People Magazine's 'Sexiest Man of the Year'" -- stands out as particularly unnecessary. If one absolutely had to describe the event, it would have been sufficient to follow the mention of the photograph, sans description, with Mel's reaction to it.

Granted, I can envision a letter in which one would include these kinds of details despite it being intended for a party that is already largely aware of them, or for whom the inclusion of said details, and the text at large, serve only to offend. It is not the kind of letter one sends to a professional associate -- it is a letter sent to an estranged friend, or a letter sent by a jilted lover. But in most cases, it is a letter sent to no one, written by the author for introspective and therapeutic reasons.

Also, insofar as these events happened exactly as Eszterhas wrote them, then Eszterhas is both irresponsible as a husband and parent and deeply stupid as a human being. He alleges that, the first time he and his wife stayed with Mel, they were so frightened by their host's sudden eruption of anger that they mostly lay awake in bed that night -- with Eszterhas clutching his rosary in one hand and a golf club for protection in the other. I myself have been in a number of unpleasant situations during which I lay awake at night, and on occasion I have been afraid of harm, but I have never been so fearful that I felt compelled to sleep with a weapon at the ready. I can guarantee that, if I ever found myself in such a situation, I would not willingly place myself in it again.

But apparently Eszterhas wasn't that scared -- because the next time Mel invited them to stay with him, he accepted. Moreover, this time he brought his wife (who also must be deeply stupid to go along with this) and son with him, to the home of a man who left him so traumatized he found it necessary to sleep holding a golf club. Eszterhas returned, with his family, to the residence of a man he thought was unhinged enough to burst into the guest room and attack him in the middle of the night. History allegedly repeated itself, and Eszterhas's son slept with a butcher knife under his pillow.

Also, what the fuck is wrong with these people? I can understand being so fearful that one deems it necessary to sleep with a weapon in hand. But, as noted, I cannot understand being scared enough to do that and then returning to the situation -- with one's family, no less. Nor can I understand choosing to stay in such a place when escape is clearly possible. Eszterhas notes that leaving would have been difficult, but it's not as if Mel was holding them prisoner -- nor, apparently, did Eszterhas expect Mel to shoot them if they enraged him. (Because if that were the case, what the hell good would a golf club or butcher knife do?) Before I spent the night trembling with a weapon at my side, I'd take a cab into town or call for a helicopter (insofar as I had the means to do so; I assume Eszterhas does) or even run off into the woods like Mel Gibson's ex, Oksana Grigorieva, apparently did during an abusive episode. But these people stayed put, so clearly the situation wasn't really that bad. I have to assume that Eszterhas, his wife, and his son are just ridiculous overactors.

And I was highly amused by Eszterhas's parenthetical mention that his son "was so frightened that at one point he taped [Mel's] 'outburst' on his iPod." Really? Is that how the kids respond to danger now? I guess it does seem like the younger generation is more prone to whip out a cellphone camera and start filming when heinous shit goes down, but I guess that just goes to show how stupid kids are these days. (And perhaps how Apple is, in part, to blame. Fuck you, Steve Jobs.) If I end up in a situation in which I am very frightened, my thoughts will be focused on getting the hell out of that situation -- not on recording the details of it for posterity.

Wes, party of one? XD

(These images of The Lovely Lena Headey come from "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" Seasons 1 & 2.)

To that end, I'm going to kick off by reposting some of the stuff I added to a Facebook discussion last week, since I thought it was pretty hilarious. A friend posted about the disparity regarding how people respond to Michael Vick (the NFL player who was involved with a dog fighting ring and is apparently still routinely criticized for it despite serving his time) and Chris Brown (who assaulted Rihanna, his girlfriend at the time, yet was cheered and awarded at the Grammy Awards), expressing frustration over comments like these and wondering how people can curse Vick while celebrating Brown. My contributions to the discussion included:

[In response to the initial question] People like dogs better than Rihanna.

...Also, Rihanna has a lot of songs in which she sings about enjoying being beaten... so it's easier for people to forgive Chris Brown when it seems like he just got a little overzealous about pleasing his woman.

[In response to a comment that the nature of her songs makes one wonder if Rihanna simply forgot the safe word] LOL at her forgetting the safe word! Chris Brown is serious about his play -- bleeding from the face is not sufficient to halt his groove.

[In response to a comment that suggesting Rihanna was at all to blame in this context is like saying a rape victim was asking for it because of how she was dressed] ...it's more like saying a rape victim was maybe possibly asking for it if, after being released from the hospital, she writes songs about how she enjoys going to bars and wiggling her naked arse at drunk ex-convicts.

[In response to a post commenting about the nature and extent of the injuries Brown inflicted on Rihanna] Wait, he bit her face? The willingness to forgive Chris Brown but not Michael Vick makes even more sense now -- human faces are way more delicious than dog fights are entertaining. Heck, Mike Tyson was willing to tank his career for a sweet taste of ear alone.

[Finally, in response to a question about why we were even discussing the topic] (Also, why am I wasting time talking about this? I find it kinda hilarious, and the topic is fertile ground for my brand of humor. But yeah, people can be pretty ridiculous and how they respond to things doesn't always make sense.)

Okay, maybe you won't find those remarks to be that hilarious or clever -- they were funnier in the context of the discussion, I swear, and you probably also have to be a little sick to enjoy them -- but you have to grant the final point! Anyway, it's kind of a shame that so many witty and insightful remarks from me are lost to the chaotic neverending flow of the web, so yeah... I'm going to do a better job of posting them to my own corner so as to preserve my remarks for the future AI programmers who will inevitably want to imbue a chat bot with some approximation of my personality.

In this way, I shall be immortal.

My dad often says that I should open a toy shop, and sometimes I think that that would be cool. But then I remember that not only would I have to deal with people I loathe on a regular basis: I'd essentially have to become one of those people just for my business to remain competitive. And that would not be cool at all.

Wes... is eating triple chocolate oat cereal with habanero chipotle sauce.

So Uncle Ben's is running a commercial about how a grain of rice can "fly" -- a reference to how quickly it can go from the microwave to the table. Neat idea, Uncle Ben's, but now I associate your rice with maggots.

Wes... just saw a vampire policewoman on the news -- with extremely prominent fangs and the last name "Innocenti," no less. If vampires want to remain hidden, they should try harder.

Yep! Google searches keep leading me to some outdated plugin -- I need something more recent! Or maybe I should just give in to Twitter ( ), since it seems like people have an easier time getting it to post to WP and Facebook.

{{{A PLUGIN THAT TOTALLY DIDN'T WORK RIGHT WAS HERE}}}

EDIT 1: Never mind. Let's see if I can't find another plugin for this...

EDIT 2: Second time's a charm?