I do not know how to move forward in a world where anyone can shed fake tears and accuse me of the most heinous offenses -- purely out of spite and malice -- and others will believe the lies without question. If anyone ever says anything kind about me, I cannot believe it -- not because I think the person is necessarily lying, but because I know that it would take very little for that person to retract the statement and brand me a murderer, rapist, stalker, et cetera: the speaker need only hear that opinion from another or listen to a particular 911 recording. And because the individuals who regard me so poorly are not in short supply -- and because 911 calls are public and accessible to everyone (for a $50 fee, you can get a CD recording of my own sister howling about how I've tried to kill her multiple times and am in the process of thrashing her fatally even as she makes the call; the recording will not include her laughing and gloating about said call afterwards) -- I am convinced that even a person who sincerely thinks well of me will not hold that opinion for long. (more...)

If you live in or around Laurel -- especially if you spend a lot of time walking around the city -- you've probably noticed this crazy guy wearing a black jacket over a white t-shirt, baggy black jeans over black boots, and an oversized pair of headphones. Sometimes his dress varies slightly -- I think he's worn tan boots on occasion, and sometimes the jeans are navy blue rather than black -- but he's always wearing the headphones. And he's always yelling something that borders on gibberish, which is why I don't think he's entirely sane. He appears in various places in the city, but can most frequently be found on the sidewalk outside of Hooters and Red Sky.

Sometimes he is dancing. (more...)

Yesterday my laptop started making this weird noise -- a faint whine with stuttering interruptions, almost like high-pitched radio static but nowhere near as loud. At least I think it started yesterday; since I often wear headphones when at the computer, it's entirely possible that it's been going on for some time. Anyway, I googled laptop noise issues and came across a suggestion that I clean the fans, so I grabbed my canned air and blew the dust out of the machine and cooling stand. That caused the machine to stop for a little while -- though it could just as easily have stopped due to the reboot, or because I had the computer off for a bit, or whatever -- but it started up again a little later. Fearing hard drive issues, I ran the dskchk utility. It yielded no errors -- not that that necessarily means anything -- so I don't think the hard drive is failing.

Once the dskchk utility finished, I promptly turned the machine off and went to bed. Now I'm using the laptop again -- and after about 20 minutes of relative silence, the noise came back. I really don't know what to make of it! I'm thinking the fans might be dying on me, though that wouldn't explain why the machine is running several degrees cooler unless they're spinning faster in their death throes or the winter is responsible for the temperature drop. (I'd attribute it to the reduced amount of dust, except that the machine was apparently running cooler even before I broke out the canned air.) According to Notebook Hardware Control, the CPU is even running cooler than the hard drive, which almost never happens. Granted, I'm usually running Firefox with upwards of 50 tabs open and right now I've only got four, but still.

Don't die on me, laptop! 🙁

EDIT: I'd forgotten that I had 18kfanGUI on here! After doing some tests in which I manually stopped and sped up the fans, I have confirmed that the noise is coming from the second one. I guess that's good, since it means the hard drive is mostly safe! And the machine is running pretty cool now what with the winter and the cooling stand (far cooler than it normally ran before I got the stand), so I don't think I'm in any immediate danger of frying my hard drive. Just the same, I'll probably order a new fan this week! It looks like they're about $50 refurbished from Dell with only a 90-day warranty and far cheaper on eBay with a 30-day warranty, so I'll likely go with the latter option. I'm tempted to grab some other upgrades while I'm at it!

The Stampman saga continues -- and apparently more harassment took place on Sunday! At one point he blocked my mother's path in the church and refused to let her pass until she shook his hand. Then, at the Thanksgiving dinner, ol' Stampy made a point of sitting at a table adjacent to my mother's so that his back was to hers. God only knows how much time he spent staring at the back of her head, but, when the churchgoers were asked to applaud our veterans and current soldiers, he turned, leaned over, and slammed his hands together roughly a foot from my mother's ear. The most unfortunate part is that Mom met with the pastor (again) to discuss the Stampman's harassment following the church service, so this latter incident happened after the pastor told him to leave her the frick alone.

Oh, and he left another message on the voice mail tonight -- once again begging Mom to be his friend. Ugh.

Anyway, remember the Halloween card I mentioned in the last Stampman entry? Here it is! This is actually the first time I'd actually looked at it -- I wasn't really eager to touch it (and not because he has HIV, but rather because he's uber creepy and I wouldn't put it past him to seal the envelope with jizz or something), so I was working from my mother's description before -- and wow. Wow. Even the envelope is creepy, what with the tiny snowcat creatures and the fact that he's addressed it as being from a fictional sender who lives at a nonexistent address. Yay! (more...)

He's called multiple times today -- likely once from his health care service provider (seriously!) and at least twice from a pay phone. He may also have called at least once using a calling card, though we can't say for certain whether those calls (which occur daily from the same 866 number) are from him or a telemarketer.

Anyway, since we obviously didn't answer his most recent pay phone call, he left a short message:

Blocking my phone number is not in your best interests.

...Yes.