Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
March 4, 2009
I see… socks.
Category: Linkage

Does anyone else find this article to be bloody hilarious? I mean, I can see how these chores could be stirring to someone who had previously been unable to complete them due to blindness, but it still amuses me to read about people getting excited about socks and laundry. And really, this is what people are doing when they regain their eyesight? You'd think they'd seek out more impressive sights! At least Jessica Alba saw dead people.

They say that youth is wasted on the young, but clearly, in this case, bionic eyes are being wasted on the elderly. Someone get this man a comic book!

This punching bag is also hilarious. A la The Shawshank Redemption, I can just hear Wolverine growling, "Spit on my dick or blood on my claws."

Finally, I totally want to try this. This passage particularly amused me:

I'm usually a fairly opened minded guy, but there comes a time when a line needs to be drawn. Would you eat a tuna and chocolate sandwich? How about some sushi with chocolate chips instead of wasabi? Didn't think so.

I'm like, "Wait, what? That last sentence does not follow from my response, sir!" I may actually have eaten a tuna and chocolate sandwich in the past -- I distinctly recall eating sandwiches comprised of tuna salad mixed with various cereals, most frequently Corn Pops -- and I would certainly not be averse to eating sushi with chocolate chips if I happened to have both on hand and in my immediate vicinity. I'd probably prefer the chocolate in a more appropriate form for dipping, though, as with frosting or syrup. Mmm.

-posted by Wes | 8:42 am | Comments (0)
March 3, 2009
It’s gonna burn us all*
Category: Linkage … SC Updates … Toys … TV, Film, & DVDs

Am I the only one who finds this kinda creepy? Microsoft: proudly paving the way towards Judgment Day! By the way, I was thinking about Skynet, and an idea occurred to me. If you wanted to ensure that the early stages of your plan to exterminate the human race proceeded without a hitch, wouldn't it make sense to send robots back in time to introduce the plan as fiction? That way, when a Sarah Connor discovered what you were up to and tried to warn people, they'd be even more inclined to regard you as crazy! Oh, Skynet, you are clever.

In tangential news -- because the show airs right after "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" on Friday nights -- I've posted my reflections on "Dollhouse" on Scary-Crayon. Right after I uploaded that article, the site (as well as Wesoteric) died for several hours. Apparently speaking ill of a Joss Whedon creation makes the Internet angry. It then takes revenge.

Finally, a word of caution to all you action figure collectors: never, ever buy a loose toy on eBay unless the seller notes that it came from a smoke-free home. (That might not have mattered in this case, since the seller insists that no one in her house smokes, but still.) I got a figure on eBay last week that stinks to high hell, and not in the good way like Stinkor. It's not even like regular cigarette smoke -- it smells more like filthy pipes and burning trash and diseased lungs. I can't bring it within a foot of my face without gagging.

Nothing seems to be working to get rid of that smell, either! I tried scrubbing the toy with soap and water; fail. I left it in an airtight baggie with a few spoonfuls of baking soda for a few days, but that only left me with a stinky toy and a bag of stinky baking soda. Which kinda sucks, because I would've just eaten that baking soda if I'd known it wasn't going to work! Baking soda is delicious. Now I have the thing completely immersed in an airtight baggie filled with kitty litter. I hope it works! If it doesn't, though, stinky kitty litter won't be quite as depressing as stinky baking soda. I don't eat kitty litter.

All for now, then. Don't eat foul-smelling baking soda! Ja.

*Post title taken from this song. It is great.

-posted by Wes | 10:24 pm | Comments (0)
February 13, 2009
Lego Daleks on eBay!
Category: Linkage … Toys

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290291878753

Personally, I like mine better. Mine even have articulation. And didn't cost in the neighborhood of $90 after shipping. So w00t.

You will be exterminated.
"EXTERMINATE!"

-posted by Wes | 4:56 pm | Comments (2)
February 6, 2009
Yay, octuplets!
Category: Linkage

BBC News: Octuplets mum wanted huge family

Shit like this makes me furious. Admittedly, I tend to look down upon the decision to have children in general -- if you really think about it, the decision is ultimately a selfish one (well, unless one is having a child to serve as a donor for a sick sibling, but that has its own share of ethical issues) -- but this is really disgusting. To put it bluntly, those children came into the world because their mother was a crazy and insecure bitch who needed to be undergoing intensive therapy instead of prenatal care. "Boo-hoo, I'm lonely and need human connection... so I guess I will acquire it by having a buncha embryos implanted and giving birth to a hugga buncha babies! YAY!"

Now, hopefully those kids will have wonderful lives and will never be prompted to dwell upon that reality... but if things don't turn out so well and they actually do end up with not only shitty lives, but also the knowledge that those shitty lives began because their mother fucked up and was fucked up (here, in the psychological sense)? I can't even begin to imagine how angry they'll feel.

Oh, wait, I totally can. Not that this makes me especially unique -- to a certain extent, I think that most people begin to pick up on this when they're teenagers, but fail to accumulate the complexity of thought and/or misfortune required to pursue that inkling in depth and detail -- but... yes.

Instead of tucking 14 children in at night, that woman should be tucked into a straitjacket and thrown into a padded cell.

-posted by Wes | 7:15 am | Comments (6)
December 16, 2008
All windows must go!
Category: Linkage

Okay, not all of them -- but I've been hanging onto many of these links for quite a while and now my Firefox has 80+ open tabs. So it's time to clear the board with another exciting linkage post! You may have seen many of these by now, but hopefully you'll find something interesting in here that you haven't encountered yet.

  • Hardcore Gaming 101: Athena

    I must've had this tab open for months -- ever since I started playing SNK vs. Capcom: SVC Chaos earlier this year as part of the Capcom and SNK kick that stemmed from my purchase of the Mai Shiranui and Chun-Li action figure set. Athena's one of the two secret bosses, and she's got quite a history as a character! I tried desperately to find the Athena: Awakening from an Ordinary Life live-action drama, but I have not yet been successful in that endeavor.

  • Destroy All Monsters: Rogues Gallery -- Prehistoric Isle

    At least once a year -- and probably more along the lines of thrice a year -- I go off on a dinosaur kick. I think I found this during the most recent one, which took place from October-November and resulted in me buying a handful of velociraptor figures. It looks bloody cool! It's also an SNK game, which makes two thus far.

  • Beyonce: Now it's time for a black Wonder Woman

    I'm not sure how I'd feel about this. There are some characters -- many characters -- perhaps even most characters -- for whom I wouldn't at all object to a skin color change in the leap from comic to film. I thought it was fine for Kingpin in Daredevil, since Kingpin's supposed to be a big crime boss and they don't come much bigger than Michael Clarke Duncan, and while Catwoman had many flaws (or so I'm told; I still can't bring myself to watch it), I doubt that Halle Berry's skin color was among them. (Besides, in that respect, Eartha Kitt had already established a precedent for the character.) Batman, the Flash, Hawkgirl, Huntress, just about any of the X-Men... there are a ton of characters who could change their skin color and it wouldn't at all seem problematic for me.

    But Wonder Woman? Something about that just doesn't work for me. It might be because many other characters are more/less defined by their backstory, or by their costumes, or by certain physical characteristics -- for example, as with Kingpin, their size -- but Wonder Woman has an iconic look that incorporates not only her costume, but her entire physical appearance. Her backstory is kinda crap, but it also arguably demands a more "classical" appearance for her: she was fashioned out of clay by the Amazonian queen Hippolyta and brought to life by Athena. Granted, I have no idea who I'd cast in the role -- only Steel comes to mind, but she looks a bit too hard and I doubt she can act -- but WW is one character I'd probably try to match to her comic appearance as closely as possible.

    That said, if a live-action X-Men film ever touched on the Mojoverse, I think Beyonce would make an interesting casting choice for Spiral.

  • Zina Saunders paints Sarah Palin

    Obviously a holdover from the election, I found this painting to be pretty darned cool.

(more...)

-posted by Wes | 7:47 pm | Comments (5)
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