Thus revealed, the creature buried its nose in the tire-tilled soil...
August 11, 2008
Nightmare Theater
Category: Dreams

Well, that was... weird.

DREAM #1

First, I dreamed that I was at some kind of summer camp -- log cabins, hiking and canoe activities, campfire sing-a-longs, and so forth. A whole bunch of stuff happened in the dream before this, but the horrific moment came when I was flossing my teeth in the bathroom and felt one pop out. Then its neighbor popped out. I took them out and examined them, wondering whether I should wash them and try to put them back in or just leave them out -- and one of them had a wire sticking out of the top of it, which was rather weird -- when suddenly I felt like I had some large obstruction in my mouth that had essentially locked my jaw. I struggled to move my mouth, and when I finally did... all of my teeth erupted out of it in a hail of, well, teeth.

Horrified, I opened my mouth wide and looked into the mirror to confirm that, yes, but for the two teeth in my hand, all of my choppers were in the sink and on the floor. This must be a dream, I thought, and I pinched myself. No go, but it didn't hurt -- at all -- so there was hope! And then I drew back my fist with intent to punch myself really, really hard... when suddenly all of my teeth were back. Then I woke up. (more...)

-posted by Wes | 7:40 am | Comments (4)
May 22, 2008
Another weird dream
Category: Dreams

And a long one, too. It began with me accompanying a young woman to the residence of an aging small-time crime boss. She was supposed to meet with him in private, presumably for some sort of romantic liaison, and I was supposed to keep an eye on the situation and make sure she got back okay. Anyway, I was standing outside the door of the guy's second-floor bedroom sipping from a wineglass when I heard a scream. I rushed in to find the girl bleeding from the neck and the crime boss dead with a wooden plank through his chest -- apparently the old guy had been a vampire and had tried to take a bite out of the dame. Despite her small size, she'd snapped off a hunk of a nearby dresser and dispatch him promptly.

Although I was ostensibly there to protect her, she took charge at this point. She snatched a small gun from the open dresser drawer -- I have no idea what kind of super high-tech weapon this thing was; it fired bullets that looked like cell batteries and never needed to be reloaded -- and, waving me behind her, made for the stairwell. Once there, we saw one of the crime boss's sons standing at the foot of the stairs with an uzi. He ripped loose with a hail of gunfire, and the poor girl was instantly flattened against the opposite wall, riddled with holes and bleeding profusely -- her short, blonde curls now highlighted with glistening red spatters -- and gasping her final breaths. As she died, she pressed the battery gun into my hand.

While the crime boss's son signaled for assistance, I ran back to the old man's bedroom, climbed out of a window, ran across the roof, leapt down into the grass, and dashed off into the night... and the rest of the dream consisted of me running from the crime boss's sons and daughters -- he had a lot of sons and daughters -- and dispatching them in various ambush setups. At one point I hid behind a hedge and blew them away as they hurriedly turned a blind corner; another setup found me hiding in a tree and shooting as they ran into a park clearing. Eventually only the eldest son and daughter remained, and, from my hiding spot, I overheard the son suggesting that perhaps they should just let me go. But the daughter was seething and wanted revenge, so he reluctantly agreed to continue the hunt.

I arranged my final ambush at a 24-hour grocery store, hiding behind a display and waiting for them to rush in several minutes later. But while my gun seemed to have unlimited ammo, the potency of the battery shots had begun to wane -- such that, when the sister ran in first, my multiple shots to her chest failed to kill her right away. And since she now knew where I was hiding, I had to go over to where she had fallen and make sure she was dead before her brother arrived. Just as I finished her, though, her brother appeared with his gun just a foot away from my face. He told me to try to shoot back if I could -- "just to make it interesting" -- and I whirled and fired. We each got off about five shots in the next moment...

...and when the slow-motion second was over, I was unscathed and he was slumped back against a glass door with two holes in his left shoulder and one in his forehead. Yet owing to the reduced immediacy of the bullets' effects, he was still conscious and alive, so we were able to talk a bit before he finally died. He talked about how impressed he was, offered no hard feelings, and said we'd meet again in another lifetime -- as friends -- the usual sort of thing. Then he died, and I bought a glazed honey bun and left.

Another weird dream indeed.

-posted by Wes | 5:35 pm | Comments (3)
May 18, 2008
Crocodile fears
Category: Dreams

This must be the third or fourth time in as many weeks that I've dreamed about the house being overrun by crocodiles. Quite terrifying, really. And then I woke up and turned to Wikipedia to assuage my lingering fears, only to run into an article about Gustave. Why has nobody killed this thing?!

Okay, technically Leatherhead is an alligator in this continuity, but still.

I like my monster crocodiles fictional and living in the sewers of Gotham or New York City, thanks.

-posted by Wes | 1:28 am | Comments (0)
May 9, 2008
The Edible Mystery revealed…
Category: Dreams … Photo … Toys

Remember that post from the other day with the unknown food item? Well, it's time to reveal its true identity:

Dollar store stuffing and vegetables!

DOLLAR STORE STUFFING!!! Well, dollar store stuffing mix, mixed with frozen vegetables (last time okra and mashed up Brussels sprouts; here with stir fry vegetables), flax seeds (fiber supplements = win), and occasionally other stuff like fake crabmeat, cheese, and/or mayonnaise. Once all this stuff is in the bowl together, I usually add a generous portion of oil, some water, mix the stuff up well, and then nuke it in the microwave for upwards of fifteen minutes or so -- basically until most of the mixture is cooked out of it and I'm left with a semi-spongy but mostly crunchy sort of casserole. It's pretty good! And as long as they keep selling stuffing mix at the dollar store, it'll probably be a staple of my diet for quite some time... or at least until I finish the two bags of stuffing mix currently in the cupboard.

I've also become quite fond of fake crabmeat and cream cheese sandwiches lately. I got the idea from Boston sushi rolls, which I quite like, but somehow these sandwiches manage to be even more palatable. I'll have to start using light or fat-free cream cheese to make them, though, so that I can even start claiming that they're healthy and low in calories. 😉

A shot of my usual drinking cups.Figures currently on my desk!

Other random photos: a shot of the cups from which I usually drink and one of the figures currently decorating my desk. I've had the Foot Tech Ninja and Donatello since December, and Skeletor has been here for a few years (and if you can see Cubone behind him, he's been here even longer), but I took this photo primarily to showcase Emma Frost -- a new addition courtesy of the delightful Mickey! She'll make it down to the basement and get a proper photo shoot in a few days -- I tend to keep new figures in my room for a bit before relocating them to the subterranean studio -- but for now I'm very much enjoying having her upstairs and placing her in various poses and whatnot. Not pictured is the Transformer Landmine on my bed. I keep new Transformers in my room to fiddle with as well -- they tend to stay until I get another Transformer to replace them. Landmine has been up here for a couple of weeks, though I imagine the turnaround period will be much shorter whenever those new Animated toys hit. 🙂

And I had a very strange set of dreams during today's nap. One of them involved alligators entering via some hidden entrance and attacking me in the living room, which prompted me to contact the Justice League of America for help. Just before I woke up, Batman was on his way and Firestorm was creating an anti-alligator enclosure to keep everyone safe until he arrived. Yep.

-posted by Wes | 4:02 pm | Comments (4)
April 4, 2008
No Overseas Job for Old Wes
Category: Dreams

So yeah, I didn't get that teaching job in Japan. It's not entirely unexpected given how horribly the interview went, but I'm still pretty disappointed about it. Ah well -- I'll mope about it for the next few days and then come up with some new ideas. It's lame consolation, but at least now I'll be around when DCUC Wave 3 is released. Grundy will crush.

And hey, "Doctor Who" Series 4 starts tomorrow, so I can't be too sad. 😐

That said, I was upset enough to hop back into bed after getting the rejection e-mail and drift off into unconsciousness for a few more hours... whereupon I dreamed I was at a strange gathering with a bunch of random people. In the end it degenerated into a brawl of sorts -- I ultimately woke up during Bill Richardson's attempt to talk me out of beating the hell out of Chris Crocker for intentionally spilling punch on my shirt. Blame the CNN political ticker and this week's "South Park" episode for that last part.

-posted by Wes | 3:42 pm | Comments (3)
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