This one's just bloody fantastico. (Have I mentioned my newfound love of that word?! Thanks for sparking that, Lady Gaga.)

Mrs. Gloria Young Sun, Sep 13, 2009 at 12:27 PM
Reply-To: [email protected]
Subject: Beware Of Internet Fraud........ My Experience

Wait, stop right there. This e-mail is telling us to beware of Internet fraud! Clearly it is on the level -- I mean, why would fraudsters tell us to be wary of them? That clearly would not be conducive to their success!

ATTENTION:

I'm Mrs. Gloria Young of Tampa, FL 33629. I'm a US citizen, I'm 51yrs Old. I'm one of those that took part in the Compensation in West Africa Nigeria some years ago and they refused to pay me, I had paid over $17,200.00 while in the US, trying to get my payment all to no avail.

So I decided to travel down to Nigeria with all my compensation documents,

Hang on, you what?!? Yeah, thieves from an impoverished African nation ripped me off, so you decided to pay them a visit! Brilliant move, lady. Bloody brill.

and I was directed to meet Mr Wiliams Cole (Barrister), who is the member of COMPENSATION AWARD AUTHORITY and a Human Rights Activist (Lawyer), and I contacted him and he explained everything to me. He said whoever is contacting us through emails are fake.

No shit. Take note, however, that you are contacting me via e-mail.

He took me to the paying bank for the claim of my Compensation payment. Right now I'm the most happiest woman on earth because I have received my Compensation funds amounting tO $11,000,000.00 Moreover, Mr Williams Cole (Barrister), showed me the full information of those that are yet to receive their payments And I saw your email as one of the scam victims, that is why I decided to email you to stop dealing with those people, they are not with your fund, they are Only making money out of you. I will advise you to contact Mr Wiliams Cole(Barrister)

Wow. In addition to receiving her money, Ms. Young also acquired the awesome ability to know what has happened or will happen in alternate continuities. See, in this continuity, I am not a victim of these scammers and have not been dealing with them... and neither has this message persuaded me to become a victim of said scammers through its admittedly clever rhetoric. Yet Ms. Young has been able to tap into a future in which these events did or will obtain, whereupon she saw my name on a list. Ms. Young, you amaze me.

You have to contact him directly on this information below;

COMPENSATION AWARD AUTHORITY
Name: Mr Wiliams Cole (Barrister)
Email: [email protected]

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in any way with them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.

This is good advice -- I hope Wes-1610 is listening, somehow.

The only money I paid after I met Mr Wiliams Cole (Barrister) was just $320 for the paper works, take note of that.

Oh, I am! You paid $17K to scammers, then traveled to a foreign country and placed yourself in a situation in which you most likely would have been held for a ridiculous ransom, raped to cleanse the AIDS, and then disemboweled with a machete for laughs. Instead, amazingly, you hooked up with a magical bank guy who gave you $11M for $320. Where are the elves and dragons? This is a great fantasy story.

Thank You and Be Blessed.
Mrs. Gloria Young
+2347034566636
Trustee/Treasurer, Triad Foundation Inc.
1902 South Wykagyl Street
Tampa, FL USA. 33629
Education: BS, Business Administration

Shockingly, Wykagyl Street is real -- she didn't just bang on the keyboard to get that. But can you tell me how to get / how to get to Osdpkfao Street?

Okay, it's time to send this message to the spam folder. Hope y'all enjoyed the nuttiness! 😛