...or more like a weird movie I was watching in the dream. I have lots of dreams in which I'm watching strange movies. I used to have dreams in which I was reading weird books, but I like the movie dreams better because when I woke up I'd remember that I was reading a weird book and I could sort of remember what the story was about, but anytime I tried to recall the image of the page itself the words were all blurry and/or never made sense, like this one dream I had in which I was reading this really strange epic poem but when I tried to visualize the page it was just one line printed over and over and over again and I'm sure the poem had different lines in my dream! Anyway...

The movie was some weird amalgam of "That '70s Show" and Asian fantasy/horror, which is really weird because while I've seen a lot of the latter, I can't recall ever having watched a full episode of the former. (Can't say I'm a fan, either.) So something was happening on the show involving someone's grandpa getting married and the father arguing with the mother about stuff related to the wedding and reception -- what they'd wear, who should hire the deejay, what kind of cake to get, etc. All of these segments took place at the kitchen table and with virtually no movement from the characters -- a bit of hand waving and of course their mouths moved, but nobody ever got up from the table. However, at intervals, the scene would cut to a dirt floor with a smoking fissure, atop which lay an unconscious little ghost girl -- you know, the kind of girl who's supposed to be so scary in these Asian horror movies but whom I don't find scary in the least because seven-year-old girls are not scary even if they are dead and move more slowly than snails. She didn't move either until like an hour into the film -- she just lay there atop the smoking earth. It was almost as if the movie knew that watching people sitting at a table and arguing for an hour was pretty boring, so it would cut to this ghost girl as if to say, "SEE, SMOKE! SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN SOON!" So yeah, about an hour into the movie, following more kitchen table arguing, the scene shifts to the ghost girl again, only this time the camera turns to the sky and we see another ghost girl -- this one garbed in an orange robe, as opposed to the white robe of the first ghost girl -- who calls to her twin (they looked like twins) and tells her that soon they will feast on cake. "Cake!" wails the first ghost girl, and she rises from her slumber and ascends into the air, whereupon the two ghosts fly off into the distance hand in hand.

Then we cut to the outside of a home, where a giant squirrel, a giant badger, and a giant cat (all about the same size) are battling it out in somewhat comic fashion -- lots of hits and stuns and clumsy stumbling about. (It's obvious that these are actors in giant rubber animal suits.) Finally the badger and the cat succeed in knocking the squirrel out of the way and rushing inside the house, whereupon the squirrel follows and says aloud, "Alright, fine -- you guys can stay -- but you have to hide." Apparently the ghost girls were coming and the outdoors were no longer safe, so that's why they wanted in, but the squirrel didn't want to shelter them so they had to fight him to get past him. Anyway, the squirrel then went about hiding them -- one underneath the sink and one in the dishwasher -- and that's when I woke up.

Thoughts?